to express.not impress.

the best thing that ever happened

2011-11-27T18:05:00.001+08:00

i was always skeptical when it comes to my feeling

especially those that involve the feeling of others.

i am the type of guy that goes "no sire i don't believe in forever" and no "miss obviously there is no such thing as real love, all there is, only one night stand and a no string attached.". i believe in keeping myself safe, building such walls so that i won't fall into the same trap. the one that got me loving someone so much and end up getting "i never had any feeling towards you, to be honest.".

bullshit.

then i met you.

4 months ago, if you tell me to write something like this, i will reject, refuse and deny. this is crap, this is bullshit. i don't believe in all these touchy wouchy feeling as i know sooner or later it gonna get me back, biting my ass as an aftermath of being so in love. but it's different now.

you are just simply amazing. i seriously can't properly describe you in words.

you're cute,

you're thoughtful,

you're addictive,

you're the reason i smile everyday and of course frowns with jealousy from time to time.

how mushy. of course.

you changed me a lot. like a lot lot. making me do all the things i never done and i am not regretting any part of it. making yourself being so valuable. i believe i had never fall for someone this deep that i would go for the extra mile to make you happy.

i never actually drive miles for someone just to be next to them

i never care bout what other wants before. it was always about me

i never like talking on the phone, at all!

i never be so vulnerable

i never miss someone so much like i miss you even when me meet like alternate days

i never get so insecure like i did

i never enjoy a day without you

i am smitten.

you are amazing and awesome.

i can never meet someone like you.

my friends told me, you're lucky and must be one hell of a person to make a commitmentphobic to be so committed to someone. but i think. i am lucky to ever found you. you are after all the best thing that ever happened to me.

my lucky star, my singing satellite.

i love you

so much

that it scares me

but at the same time

it made me feel safe.

this is shen.
and okayyyyyyyyyyyyyy this is too mushy
*coughs* believe?

how to react

2011-10-02T16:55:00.000+08:00

my best friend when i was in segamat mother just passed away a few days back.
i am dating a person that lost both parents

i always wonder. how would i react if i lose these important people in my life.
would i cry
would i stand tall
would i just sit there with expressionless face
would i just go through my day like i used to.

lately i have been building these walls. the walls to keep me from being emotionally offended, emotionally attacked and emotionally let down. little did i know a small lion can penetrate the wall so well without destroying the wall and result them in crumbling down.

i won't say i am much of a good son.
but i wouldn't deny if someone told me im a daddy's boy and a mommy's son. i just dont mind. but then again as much as i hate to admit this, sometimes i never actually care about what my parents think. maybe my rebellious act has finally kicked in. finally. maybe

so i am just wondering. let just say one day.
god forbid.
if these ever happen to me. how would i react?
or how should i react?

on an unrelated case

i am totally into you

giving my all to you

despite the fact that you

are not entirely mine.

this is shen.
and my falls is..

ultimate update

2011-09-18T23:00:00.001+08:00

this is shen.
and i am in love
with you lion.

hedwig,

2011-07-17T19:18:00.001+08:00

"you know? hedwig gila comel kan?"
"hedwig mana? owl tu?"
"yup"
"i thought u never liked harry potter and never read the book pun?"
"well semalam i baca buku dia. all 7 books in 2 days so we got something to talk about =). sweet tak?"

this is shen.
and you gila comel sanggup baca 7 buku tebal wey!

and may i?

2011-07-08T01:31:00.000+08:00

if you want something you will just need to ask for it.
if not you will end up not knowing whether the answer is a yes or no.
if its a no then it was not meant to be, at least you won't live your life pondering of the uncertainties.

just a friendly reminder,
to self.

this is shen.
and asking for what you want
is never a bad thing rawr.

kau ni racist la bro

2011-07-04T20:46:00.000+08:00

so i watched this video recently,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EvkgwDbSpc&feature=player_embedded

and i was like..... okay that would take my mind of KFC for some while. as i was bored, i scrolled down the comment area and pressed view all comments. and my attention are quickly directed to few particular comments.

malay is like that one, normal

setsunahq 3 days ago
brainless idiot ....but luckily, majority of KFC customer is malay....god bless you.

miss17611 4 days ago

terbaik. so 2 guys are acting like a total moron now the whole malay society are bunch of retards? oh man i beg to differ. seriously how shallow can a person be? well apparently, from what they're portraying i assumed, very shallow to a level that is so low that it made your brain seem like just shit. a small hopeless useless shit. yes thats what it is.

obviously we were brought up with a tiny hint of racism in our childhood. let it be form the school from our family or mainly from our family. i wont deny that. how many times that you hear racism comments that goes like pemalas macam melayu, penipu macam cina, belit macam india. if you're living in malaysia and you have'nt heard of any, you're blessed.

i am a malay and i hav chinese and indian as my best friends and few other races to complete it. and we never actually face any of those racist problems. so i assume racist comments and racism offense are only done by uneducated people that tend to use race as arsenals. macam

omg melayu masuk university sbb kerajaan tolong

cina kaya sebab dulu duduk kat bandar

come on.

to make things straight i think as a malay, i would live just fine without the subsidies. ill live just fine wherever you put me. but then again as we are the founder of the land, i assume some privilege would be great but then again i wont deny if the subsidies making us lazy from time to time an expecting way too much but then again...that are left to each individuals . for the chinese, well some of them actually work hard to achieve what they achieve today so, scratch all those comments.

what im trying to say is, i dont think malaysia will go far if people like this exist. im serious, why would there be malay, chinese, indian and others when we are actually malaysian in general. now some of you might say

buang la keistimewaan orang melayu baru fair, baru kita cerita . then only we talk about satu malaysia

you are right. but then again it was agreed before

so i assume the other races were fully aware for what they were agreeing upon when they were together accepting the peace treaty.

correct me if im wrong

i am not running for president

this is shen

and i hate racism

May Fair,

2011-06-02T00:38:00.003+08:00

so may has just ended in a very speedy....erm whats the right word?

okay lantak pi kat situ.

and since it is already june i am still

jobless, apparently EY doesnt think im good enough for the company orrrr.....theyre too busy (gila optimistic siot)
i still havent received my NSTP contracts. theyre busy too i suppose.
still tak faham belajar apa dekat PHP course tu selain online dan ragnarok online.classic

1. Despite all those, hidup aku macam senang lenang pulak sekarang, lagi bila dikelilingi orang orang tanak ambik kisah memang kau pun sama sama la malas nak amik tau. macam cerita sekarang simple. aku tak sibuk hidup kau, kau takyah sibuk hidup aku, kau tanak cntact pegi mampus and kalau kita contact then its good. senang citer. takde masalah pun?

2. aku dah tengok movie karak and movie seru. okay aku tengok la citer melayu asalkan citer tu bermaruah dan layak di tengok. takde la citer lawak bodoh merapik2 tu aku nak tengok, buat semak otak je. so review secara purata, movies was awesome walaupun. WALAUPUN cerita karak tu macam merepek meraban tahap critical di certain scene. macam

dah kenapa kau nak pakai make up malam2 masa jam?
dah kenapa kau nak pakai rantai bini orang asli tu tiba2?
dah kenapa pulak kau nak pergi kencing dalam toilet yang gila bapak horror?
dah kenapa plak kau jadi hantu kau tak sedar?

all in all aku memang benci betul kalau cerita hantu pastu ending dia twist merepek2. tapayah la weyhhhhh!

3. Joined PHP special course for 3 weeks. dari pukul 9 pagi to 5 petang hari2 dah macam orang bekerjaya tapi bila sampai end of the days macam sedar-sedar satu apa pun tak faham. nak kata bodoh memang boleh je nak dipertimbangkan sebab hari2 gelak ilmu pun makin lama makin sikit weyh. tapi lantak ah. elok je orang lain kerja php satu apa tak faham.

4. ayin is coming back in july. happy. ok itu je nak cakap. over karang len macam jadi plak blog ni

5. diet plan 8 macam agak berkesan tapi the result will be slower sebab sekarang i actually eats kan?

6. cuti kali ni 4 bulan bodo. dah tak sure dah cemana nak cari duit nak cover kehidupan 4 bulan. dear god silalah buat duit s cholarship masuk awal. amin!

7. start main ragnarok private server balik walaupunnnnn...walaupun macam secara logicnye takde org pun main game ni lagi. hadei..had fun aku punya semangat siap google best items for Sniper. bak mai sini lawan aku pvp! babi dork!

8. okay itu je kot for now? May takde la macam excited sangat pun. biasa biasa je except bila orang semua dah cuti aku plak sibuk je duduk kat uitm tu blajar PHP macam wtf.

this is shen.
and may treated me fair

wonders..where it went?

2011-05-18T20:38:00.000+08:00

despite having everything in place.

good friends
happy family
good grades
the scholarship

i believe somewhere somehow something is still missing.
as much as i want to deny it.
i think i am rather...lonely? if that's the right word

this is shen.
lets keep yourself busy.

Ibu, Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T08:41:00.001+08:00

i was always bad at projecting my feeling toward others regardless to whom. Say it my family my lover or my friends, i would never be able to actually say what i actually feel. although a research gave a reason for me not to blame myself as most Asian does not portray their love as explicitly as European. too shy to do it, assisting and completing our culture as heritage of the suppressed feelings.

I hold on to the words that goes, say something before it's too late.

but somehow i had never have the right time, the right place to say

or courage in this matter.

So anyway,

last night, i looked at Ibu and was returned with her usual sarcastic smile look and i wondered when did this face that used to be so strong and tough get to be so ...fragile and tired. i can't remember when was the time i actually looked at her and paid attention to all the years that had gone.

took me quite down the memory lane.

as im growing up,

Ibu quit her job to take care of us. a sacrifice she willingly made.

as a toddler, i was as much as a Why guy..okay not much different to now anyhow. I remembered Ibu used to read us books that comes with the cereals and one of them is a story about a the raven and the jar of water. Keep asking her why the bird did not fly to the nearest pond and instead avidly inserting stones into the jar? and she answered that every time although with boredom in her face haha.

I remembered one time, when i was in primary school. how i tend to cry everytime i go to class. Ibu will promise to come every recess s period and bring me food. this managed to stop me from crying every time i go to school for quite some time. In her gray tiara she will come and bring me my food and stop me from crying to school.

i believe i was closer to my dad over her, because we think she's the fierce one, the evil one. but after the years we somehow realized she's just doing those as an effect of her motherly nature. the instinct to keep her child safe and sound.

Even now,

as we have grown up to be adult. I believe in her eyes, we are still seen as the kids that cry to school and the kids that will run into trouble from time to time. keeping us close to home, she will limit us from things that will result in a huge WHY? we always know she had a reason, but she would never say it. like when i sleep over at friends she would say "just come home" and when i do certain things she will just frown and will no longer yell.

i realized, my mum is no longer the fierce one. she's tired. she's was never the evil one, she's the loving one. maybe as people may say, maturity does come with age and therefore now the time that i actually understand why she do all the things she does. It would somehow be a great remorse to me if something are bound to happen and i never able to tell her how much she meant to me how much she affected my life, and how much she had sacrificed for me. thus,

i love you Ibu,

I will work hard so that i can support you in the future, to fulfill all your need and wants and being the son you will be proud of.

this is shen.

and Happy Mother's Day

Hanifah Mustafha

there you go,

2011-05-06T07:44:00.002+08:00

this is shen.
and oh well
just hope i dont fail my subjects this semester
because of you

be nice baby

2011-04-20T21:56:00.004+08:00

it's typical of me, every time i am about to do my work. i will start procrastinating. cari benda yang boleh nak buat. macam tiba tiba la pergi tengok youtube justin bieber flash mob la, tiba tiba tengok raja lawak walaupun tak pernah teringin nak tengok and tiba tiba jugak pergi blog orang itu ini membaca walaupun setiap kali pun rasa writing certain orang amat mengjengkelkan camtu kan eja? serious.

baca baca baca.

it's annoying bila tengok kau macam jatuh cinta tergolek golek macam omg please be my only lover. memang ah comel tapi kadang kadang macam. eh aku tampar muka kau karang. apa pun tak dapat. i am happy for you. seriously i do. but i dont find it that thrilling nak tengok kau bercinta sakan camtu. dengki la bodo. AHAHAHA. okay dah. memang nafsu pendengki tu tiba tiba kuat plak ni. syaitan btol. despite happy for you, i sometimes wish that the person will hurt u as bad as you hurt other people. you know? this once. so you can be empathetic towards the feeling of others. tapi abaikan la. u shouldnt feel that. it hurts like fuck.

sumpah

so anyway itu lantak kau la,

so 10 people from my past contacted me back and all of them said the same thing. or something that interpreted the same way " you are nicer now". if there's 10 people saying the same thing. i must be hell of a bad guy before am i not. and quoting the singapore-LV-store-floor-staff ,2011 " you are more approachable now".so kemungkinan perangai aku macam raksasa hostile yang tak boleh terima orang baru dalam life tu mungkin bukan penipuan semata-mata. mungkinnnnn....i was a very very hostile person and rejects every possible relationship based contacts.

remembering how i treated singapore-LV-store-floor-staff, the nottingham-engineer, the cheras-doctor-in-trainee and the secretary-of-Digi, i believe i was quite a handful before. budget hebat budget bagus suka pilih kawan. haha. so yeah i think i owe you guys an apologies. sorry i cant include all of you because coming up with nickname sumpah sakit.

so i guess ill stay this way for a bit then.

but i dont know,

being nice made everyone see that im vulnerable. opening up to every single thing and opening up your life to every person u meet. its kinda scary, kinda ignorant, kinda reckless?

in the end. sebab nak stay nice. i wish u luck in your upcoming relationship. your job and your emotional based problem. itu je nak cakap. i got my life and you got yours. im glad we crossed path really.

dalam case tak berkaitan

i think i am like a legend in procrastination

serious.

macam hebat to the max

tapi tak boleh kalahkan

mamat cakap lebih tapi hasil kurang =)

this is shen.

and i think im nicer now

kot?entah.

wish u luck

short term goal,

2011-04-11T18:32:00.002+08:00

1 month before a long holiday,
my short term goal is to be accepted into any of the big 4 to do my internship;
EY,PwC, DTT, KPMG? come on
ill be one of your biggest asset, i promise you
okay dah.

last last!
PLEASE! accept my cv.
*puppy eyes*

this is shen.
and i wanna get accepted
boleh?
wish me luck btw, interview with EY in few days

mr werewolf

2011-04-04T01:52:00.000+08:00

and she was like how many times do we need to go through this?
you're not hot with your beard on.
you look lazy and messy.
takde orang ngorat jangan salahkan i

banyak sangat gambar

banyak sangat kerja

lamalama blog ni pun boleh jadi tumblr plak

this is shen.
and i am the werewolf
for a week? boleh?

much better

2011-03-31T23:53:00.005+08:00

unnecessary problems

hensem pun kene fikir banyak jugak

this is shen.

and life will be much simpler if you can stop giving eff

it is the weekend after all,

2011-03-26T11:44:00.006+08:00

jadi, sebab weekend moh le kita bermalas malasan walaupun kerja banyak nak mampus bersepah kat belakang kau tu. so anywayyy life has been great. for march has been very kind to me.

1. macam life is going great, love life, takde lagi ingat ex lama yang serious tak bawa apa apa kebaikan pun, takde lagi nak melayan drama bodoh2, takde lagi nak melayan sakit hati sini sana. semua tu dah takde.

its cool bila kau take times to put yourself first.
to make yourself happy.
to be smart and to be what you're meant to be.

2. so anyway lately has been weird. macam tiba tiba smangat pergi jogging hari2 walaupun kerja serious banyak. dengan test lagi dengan event AIMS lagi.. memang sedap ah hidup kau. serious. aku pun dah tak sure dah macam mana nak menyempatkan semua semua benda ni. padahal skarang tengah bersenang lenang haha. pastu tiba tiba sibuk nak pergi tengok movie la clubbing la makan besar la.. duit pun memang banyak berguni.

3. ive watched suckerpunch tapi cerita dia bodo. tiba tiba macam weh apahal siot citer camni pun ade...but but but nasib ahhhhh amber cantik... kalau tidak memang tidur je lagi elok dalam movie tu.

4. aritu rambut dah panjang gila, memang biasa la kalau orang creative ni semua dia nak buat sendri. so aku ptong rambut sendri. macam yakin gila.. bak kata pepatah mat salleh "dont get too excited when holding the scissors" lebih kurang la *kalau kau google tak jumpa tu kira aku baru buat la*.. and potong pototng pastu bila dah over excited terover potong plak....skarang rambut aku nampak macam orang sakit dahhh...demn.. tapi takpe ah...no onne to impress pun.

5. i flirts around. because you broke my heart so bad. so very bad, tapi

6. okay dah patut dah pergi mandi and buat kerja..k bye

to me
flirting is not wrong
does not mean i dont love you

this is shen.
and march is a friend

because obviously i am a control freak

2011-03-14T02:38:00.005+08:00

im always scared of the uncertain. the unpredictable.
the future to be exact. im a planner. i got my whole life planned out.
when something goes astray. ill panic. i dont have any contigencies.

i am not a lets go with the flow guy, to be bluntly honest.

macam after spm, get into college, get my degree in law, practise, do a double degree in architecture. get a good job, open a cafe, support my family get a house a bmw and die happy. or be a pilot. and the rest will fall through.

but obviousy things never goes as planned.

end up doing IT and crapped my life to the max. its fine. it was all fine. but depending on how my life turned out. im scared of asking what next? i mean i got my diploma, ill get my d#egee. and then what? doing what i hate for the rest of the life? sometimes it sucks to be a planner. you are scared to open up to all the possibilities in life.

keep asking myself what if.
what if tak cukup pandai,
what if tak cukup hebat
what if tak ini
what if tak itu

a friend once told me, "you're a high achiever, u think too much to be someone, who are you impressing?"

i have nobody to impress other than myself. and im setting my bar too high based on my dad's expectations.
ridiculous expectations. penat ahhhhhhhhh! penat trying to impress you sangat2.

i want mylife to be just that. as good as it gets. but i cant see that coming. i want to be able to go tuk whenever i want to. pushing myself to the limit for that.

pray for me.
the expectations
for the patience
the anxiety
and the indecisive.

this is shen.
and im a control freak
and now im panicking.

boleh jah,

2011-03-01T00:58:00.004+08:00

i am not much of a theater goer macam my family dan lain lain

but i am an art appreciator aicehwahhh

so anyway, baru balik dari UIA, walaupun dah berapa lama hidup tak rasa pun nak jejak UIA sebab diorang reject application aku untuk masuk faculty of architecture. pembuat robot UIA cakap most of the students yang masuk architecture faculty tu semua hot hot. so macam sedar la diri sikit kat situ kenapa kena reject..haish.

okay sini menulis panjang2 bukan nak cerita kenapa aku kena reject UIA. takde kene mengena pun.saja mengada selingin mintak simpati. tapi nak cerita how i actually go all the way to UIA nak tengok theater. semangat tak semangat? ko sendiri fikir la.

the overall performance sambilan macam okay
tiba tiba plak aku boleh terminat nak blajar dikir barat and tiba tiba plak aku reti menyanyi lagu putri santubong macam aiceh...irama etnik tiba tiba haha.

the first play in english memang apa pun aku tak faham. macam bebal pun ada fikir balik bila tak dapat capture ape main point cerita tu.

nak ajar camne nak apply loan? ke hape? tolong bagitau skit? sebab scene dia dekat office pastu asyik bincang pasal loan tak habis2 pastu emo...ok aku pun malas nak layan citer theater emo kat bank ni. cam tak faham..

Boleh Jah by Dian Sira Mohamad

was awesome. and im not saying this because shes my friend. tapi sebab memang kelakar nak mati. okay tipu la nak mati.tu macam over sangat. the girl yang macam paranoid anjing tu sangat la klakar and with the help of super snappy datin CL, semua pun boleh gelak sampai guling-guling dalam auditorium tadi. okay tu pun tipu, sebab orang relax je gelak kat seat masing masing. doctor rambut curly besar gabak pun comellllllll and orang gila couple cakap sorang2 dengan awek imaginary is so emotional in a good way.

okay sedar ke aku tak memberi apa2 synopsis cerita eh? itu sebab esok ade lagi satu hari play tu akan berlangsung. ahaha berlangsung.. ayat kau. siot je skema.

so sila la pergi UIA sana beli ticket 5 ringgit tengok play tu.. tapi just a personal saying la..anda akan belajar cara mengapply loan bank yang betul. itu je nak bagitau,

in the end. aku nak cakap.pergi la tengok citer tu.
and apa apa pun congratz la kat Dian for that awesome play.
kalau 18 juta kali ckp awesome play memang hidung u kembang sampai seremban la eh?

on another case tak berkaitan
patut i pergi je kat meja you
YOU AH asyik nak termalu malu
hadoihh

this is shen.
and i went to UIA
for her play

and he's gonna work soon,

2011-02-26T02:05:00.002+08:00

i captured the picture for my CV
i wrote my CV
and gonna send my CV to

certain companies

siapa la nak accept ni? tssk

this is shen.
and puas hati doh tangkap gambar sendri
kedai gambar PAS boleh pegi mati.
amik gambar suka ati nenek tiri

sumpah doh

2011-02-24T07:21:00.001+08:00

i hate you. your stupid assignments and your stupid 8oclock class.GRRRR

this is shen.

and kau tak faham

perasaan orang

yang dirampas nikmat tidur

pada pagi nyaman lagi hujan ni.

KAU TAK FAHAMMMM WEY!

busybye

2011-02-22T00:00:00.007+08:00

if i keep myself any busier than this

i will only have few hours a day for myself.

and i think that is great, to keep my mind off

set of unnecessary problems.

assignments. tests. projects. exams. events.

ohmytimeissorunningoutandsoareyourcharms.

on a rather related case

maybe it is time for you to realize

maybe dia is not that into you

maybe

lol who are we kidding?

this is shen.

i like being busy

regardless my body think

otherwise. pfft..

hipokrit la kau,,

2011-02-17T07:18:00.004+08:00

walaupun muka aku senyum bila dengar,

tapi dalam hati rasa macam nak penampar orang yang jenis nasihat orang lain pasal agama bukan main warak padahal perangai kau tu kalau nak diikutkan lagi teruk daripada aku. aku ni at least tau la juga banyak buat dosa. engkau tu yang konon alim tapi padahal kat belakang... kau sendri judge la.

tak payah kau pandai-pandai cop aku ahli neraka =)

this is shen.

and this between

me and my god.

kau dengan implikasi kau

boleh pegi mampos.

those extra miles, love

2011-02-15T00:56:00.004+08:00

its kinda cute seeing my bestfriend tadi. berlari lari setting rambut curly. pergi kelas. make up during class break. macam penat, macam terkejar kejar. pastu jadi emo bila presentation habis lambat and dia terpaksa postpone dinner dia jadi lambat sikit.

kesian kelakar. tapi aku suka tengok kau bahagia macam tu.
macam sweet.

its funny what love can make you do.

macam tiba tiba sanggup buat segala benda padahal kau tau semua tu macam penat. jenis yang macam sanggup driving berbatu batu jauh padahal memang sejak azali memang manusia paling malas nak memandu, jenis yang sanggup pergi tengok bola dekat mamak padahal langsung tak kisah pun team apa menang, sanggup pergi naik public transport sejauh jauh alam padahal in real life kau nak pergi giant naik bus pun kau rasa tak selesa. sanggup buat itu ini padahal kau memang pemalas nak mampus.

kau mana kisah.

tadi bila kawan aku tunggang terbalik semata2 nak menyempatkan dinner bersama kekasih dia pun ada la jugak terfikir macam "eh memang tak ah aku nak buat macam tu, semata-mata". tapi bila fikir balik, kalau aku dalam situation sama, maybe lebih kurang je pengakhirannya, emo dan tergesa2, tapi maybe aku lebih plastic and hipokrit sikit la depan lecturer. bak kata kelly clarkson :

"The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all"

takde maknanya kau boleh berfikir waras bila dah jatuh cinta terguling2 macam tu. benda paling simple pun kau tak boleh calculate. logic akal kau memang tersekat kaw kaw aku cakap. tapi even dah macam tu pun kau still tak rasa penat. asalkan kau bahagia. but then again kau kena la ingat kebahagiaan kau tu temporal ke? selamanya?...

bak kata bestfriend satu lagi yang pakai celak kepak, tak payah la kau smangat sgt nak inlove ke laut camgitu. cukup kau bahagia sikit sikit sudah la.. nanti kalau period kebahagiaan kau da sampai masa takde ah kau jatuh tersungkur menangis macam nak mampus betul? thanks kelasssss nasihat kau maria *kau tau la kau sape*

anyhow,

aku bukanla yang jenis menyambut valentine. tak pernah sambut pun. tapi fikir balik. it will be nice kan? bila somehow someday, kau ada jugak benda nak dicelebratekan and something kau boleh look forward to macam bila best sister ever baru masuk 2 years anniversary dgn BF beruang dia. macam sweet, macam worth it. dont get me wrong, aku okay being single or being complicatedly attached. tapi sometimes, you know?

last last aku dengar lagu ni tiba tiba aku emo,
malam valentine sorang2. siot je

thanks for the song dear,
made my...hari kekasih sikit
and post takde berkaitan dengan sesiapa
honest
except kawan yang pergi dinner valentine

this is shen.
and bak kata riff
for a best student,
aku ni bodoh juga bila part bercinta

kadang-kadang kesian kat orang tapi diri sendri pun lebih kurang sama je

2011-02-13T18:59:00.005+08:00

last few days,

masa tengah makan dengan kawan, datang seorang makcik ni jual kerepek.

"nak beli kerepek makcik ni nak."
"err.."
"tolonglah makcik"
"eh takpelah saya tak makan kerepek sangat makcik"
"belilah tolong mak cik"
"eh takpe takpe."

raba dalam poket. aku pun ade lima ringgit je ni ha nak bayar milo ais kejap lagi. tsk tsk.
aku takboleh la bila tengok makcik-makcik lebih dari separuh abad ni jual kerepek macam tu. aku kesian. bila diorang datang kat meja aku mesti aku macam tak sanggup nak tengok muka diorang. sebab macam kesian, macam sedih tapi tak nak beli kerepek. boleh?

ibuaku pernah cakap, try la kasi je duit...derma je..tak payah la amik kerepek tu.
tapi bagi aku itu kan dah macam menghina makcik tu?

"aku jual kerepek bodoh! bukan mintak sedekah..kalau aku dah lempang muka kauuu apa tak dapat!"
"cantik bahasa makcik.. mweswaaa angawtttt"

tapi apa apa pun aku menulis sebab nak cakap kat diorang syabas and aku salute diorang sebab bekerja sampai malam malam semata2 untuk mencari nafkah untuk anak anak. serious kalau terbayangkan pengorbanan macam tu, kau dapat rasa yang kau ni macam dimanjakan sampai ke tahap anak raja alagappas ke apa kan? anak anak makcik-makcik ni kalau tak reti mengenang budi memang patut la masuk neraka sama level dengan firaun sana aku cakap kau.

mak kau penat macam nak mati bekerja, kau plak pergi berfoya2 blaja macam anak takde otak. aku sumpah korang jadi babi doh! haha. emosi plak kau tiba tiba.

anyway, kalau bila2 saya ada duit lebih and tiba2 suka makan kerepek saya belilah okay> tapi janganlah paksa..karang terus jadi tak ikhlas nak makan kerepek macik. itu je nak cakap.

dalam case tidak berkaitan
i hope the news is inaccurate
so i am not down before i fly

this is shen.
and aku susah la bila macik jual kerepek datang kat meja

avid liar,

2011-02-06T14:42:00.006+08:00

to tell you the truth, ive told so many lies that it is all a blur

but well you know, sometimes you have to lie about stuffs.

to keep yourself going, because you're afraid.

or to protect someone else, so they don't get hurt.

sometimes, even the things that everyone in the whole world thinks are true turn out to be lies.

at the end of the day though, it's not the lie that matters, but what you do after you tell it.

work hard enough and maybe you can make it true.

i mean, maybe we both forgot.

-Hope

i so so so miss you
and that is not a lie

this is shen.
and we all lies.

PD escapade : last day...probably

2011-02-05T08:56:00.004+08:00

++++++++++++++++++++++++++
day 3 in PD
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

bangun bangun the aircond sejuk macam nak mati. turn it off. blogged. and tidur balik. so much of seeing the sunset before going back..hak ptuih.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

okay i think im waking up for real now... need to clean the house and pack...alaaa rindu gilaaa i dont wanna go home.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

finished packing and cleaning....now should get my bath before heading home...still calculating whether it will be a good thing to head to bongek or not despite what dian said last night. tsk tsk. and again i dont wanna go back..i like my emo-nest too much now. =(

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

went out from PD house at 10. now im home.. called aero saying that i wanna drop by his house in Rembau... i suppose dia not too keen about it so i end up driving and wish to call him when i reach rembau. lol.. little did i know i am driving at a whole wrong road. bugger. last las end up calling him in seremban and cakap dah sesat. macam nak patah balik all the way to rembau. but riff said tapayah..tsk

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

picked up riff in serdang. and had lunch in mines wonderland before heading home. gonna meet her again tonight to catch up on the 'stories'...telenovela melampau yang dah berapa season still takde kebahagiaan ni.. demn

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

the PD trip was awesome. it gave me time to reflect on who i am, what's my priority and who im in love with. tapi im not sure whether it was worth it. was it?

this is shen.
and this is a trip
im not sure i want to forget

PD escapade : day 2

2011-02-04T11:51:00.009+08:00

++++++++++++++++++++++++++
day 2 in PD
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
woke up bila dapat call from ibu saying that theyre going to sepang

"hello"
"hello, bila awak balik"
"eh i tatau la...esok ke sunday ke..why?"
"ni kitorang nak pergi gold coast sepang..jom la"
"er tengok la kalau i rajin"
"buat apa ntah kat PD sorang2"
"hahaha byeeee"

perut lapar and boiled the rest of the sausages. 3 sausages for breakfast. look around baru sedar, my food stock are running low.. perlu tak pergi bandar for lunch? aaaa malas malas...i think i should start planning on how to go back tho... malassss jugak.. pasang loud music and roll around on bed.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

just woke up from an unintentional nap. it was great and found out its already 5. still not sure whether should i go out or not. but food stock are running low anddd im hungry. and i feel like going to the beach. should really get my bath now. seriously

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

had my bath and now food stock hunting. jyeahhh!... or maybe go lunch / dinner or sumthing after sunset...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
cantik gila sunset..but note to self. sunset are not to be watched alone. nanti emo melampau...=(.. awww i miss you its comel how u see everyone being happy and all satu family, satu group ahaha and you're alone. but then again it really gimme the time to evaluate myself and my life priority. tsk tsk.. it was fun.. camwhoring alone. and saya beli baju. baju tulis port dickson YAWWWW.. ok to show that i actually went here alone. awesome awesome.

went around to this event kat tengah2 dataran teluk kemang. and bought myself 2 piece of chicken. REAL FOOD after the repetitive sausage, maggi and gardenia choc bun. now im full and watching berita. haha... wondering should i go down and watch the acrobat again or should i stay in and watch bedtime story on tv3?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

cant believe you're so blunt. i dont feel so good anymore. tengok cerita kelakar sedih2 is so wrong.. macam tak sure nak feel yang mana satu. tsk grrr..

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

made up my mind about going home tomorrow. haha the problem is sangat malas nak mengemas ni.. still lying around listening to music even dah 12 oclock....i got a feeling that i will be staying for another night ni despite running low on food stock.

so tell me..should i go to bongek tomorrow?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

this is shen.

PD escapade : day 1

2011-02-03T17:53:00.006+08:00

++++++++++++++++++++++++++
day 1 in PD
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

so currently im still in my bed still thinking about what to do. haha i just ate 2 hot dog rebus for breakfast. still hungry. konon plan nak bangun pagi pergi jogging. last last tertidur till 10. and now the sea breeze macam buat aku malas gila nak gerak pergi anywhere even for mandi.

YZ contacted me thru twitter tadi, tanye shoud he come over to meet me or something. haha tapi i malas to bangun to go drive sampai dataran kemang.. YZ. datang rumah bawak food bolehhh?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

so i ate 2 hotdog for breakfast. a bun and maggi for lunch. YZ called just now saying that PD is super jammed with people thus he cant make it here. demn.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

just woke up from a long nap. and its almost 6.. i suppose it will be a good idea to go jog huh? since the beach will be totally packed. imma go jog around the resort compound je la kot. tsk tsk what's for dinner ni?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

got back from jogging. i was rather surprised bila turun2 ramai gila nak mampos kat pool.. serious. it actually redefined my own term of ramai nak mampus. geli je kalau nak mandi time macam ni hahaha.. gawd!gelak gelak.. oka now dah lapar. kriuk kriuk..starvation!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i dont think YZ can make it. so i ate 2 hotdogs and maggi. so i wanna go down and watch starlight cinema for tonight..jadi date i please?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

apparently they canceled the starlight cinema and ganti with something else. way to go. ade this 2 chinese siblings singing malay songs macam okay sedap but obviously sgt weird sbb pronunciation dia bersepah. tu okay lagi until they started singing lagu english..mcm sumpah dengar macam lagu cina dah...siot je. then ada drag show yang entah pahapa done by the worker here. and end with a super awesome acrobatic acts. gila hot kotttttttttt....i wanna date an acrobat please. please? CHINA acrobat je. tanak english they sucks.

after the show i went home.......and sleep. tsk

this is shen.
and this is day 1

another PD trip of a lone ranger..

2011-02-03T11:04:00.006+08:00

+this will be a long post+

despite being in PD. internet here considered rather fast really.
cukup laju untuk tulis blog merapik2 bila dah takde apa nak buat sorang2 dekat studio house kat PD ni. dont get me wrong, im a having a good time here, regardless.

why im in pd? lol this is a very funny story.
macam 1st time pergi all the way to another state semata mata nak celebrate a birthday. this is so random. this is so not shen. satu hari aku macam dapat message dari Dian, a friend of aero yang mengajak aku pergi celebrate birthday aero dekat seremban. and i dont know why's i agreed to go.

at first i was really shifty about going, sebab i barely knows anyone yang akan ada kat celebration tu except aero. and furthermore, i have this weird assumption that a friend of aero mush does not really fancy me that well. haha. so i halfheartedly agreed. but i think everything went well and i had a blast with them tho i have a very hard time trying to adapt to the situation being the only person that is not from the group. i actually karaoke'd with them kan walaupun everyone knows i wont do that with ppl i barely knows, inikan pulak orang yang baru kenal brapa hari...eh jam.

but during the trip i dont know, some of things went rather wrong. dramatic is how u put it.
tapi apa apa pun i wanna say congrats, cause all of you are the only ppl that made me drove to another state just because of a birthday.

this is shen
and i drove miles
just to be with you

broga : sronok sampai masuk paper.

2011-01-20T23:41:00.007+08:00

so anyway after a while asyik postpone our trip to go to broga at last we went oun akhirnya with a short notice plan. gang puncak yang macam dalam 15 orang came to my house and kidnapped me up for the trip to broga. memang terbaik. dah ah aku dengan bau macam biskut.

since uitm tak allow students to go out after 12, so semorang cam plan to overnight dulu before heading to broga in semenyih. last last we end up in uptown shah alam and lepak lepak dulu sebab memang tak ah nak pergi broga pukul 12. so kitorang shop and stay there minum.

the rest of the night memang random driving dari shah alam ke kajang and cari tempat lepak untuk menyampaikan pukul 3 pagi tu. everyone was super tired and the mood macam last last slowly depletes. i was asleep the whole drive, tau tau bangun je dah kat mcd.

waited lagi kat mcd sampaiiiii 4.30 and we go to broga hill. nani went home for a while sebab nak tukar kereta so we end up waiting for her for a bit before naik dulu sebab dia cakap dia familiar bukit tu. memang betul pun kot. dia naik laju gila even bila dia start 30 minutes lewat pun dia sampai saing.

sampai je kat broga hill macam bapak ramai gila orang! mana tau orang semua pun nak buat aktiviti panjat bukit konon2 macam pergi batu cave. serious ramai sampai kau nak jalan naik pun tersangkut sangkut. but the hills macam okay la cuma i think the safety measures are totally zero. i mean not suitable for people yang dont know how to climb well and clumsy. sebab macam kau panjat2 tiba tiba ade gaung kat tengah.tapi entah biasa je kot. sebab aku dulu budak rekreasi. so the climbing period macam okay la sampai kau kene panjat macam biawak segala.

aku dengan hanis sebab smangat sangat menajat dah samapi tinggi gila baru sedar yang kitorang dah tak sama sama dengan the rest. dia macam ade 4 level. so aku sampai la kat batu yang level 4 tu walaupun tak dapat naik sebab penuh gila. ridculous gila kau nak naik bukut ramai2 buat apa? haha dengki tak dapat naik.

nasib ade line. so bila dah bosan tak dapat naik tingkat empat kitorang turun balik and jumpa the rest of the gang andddd the usual sesi tangkap gambar.

at 9. sebab memang apa bende pun takde atas tu. *abib kena tipu sebab fikir ade orang jual cendol kat lvl 3* kitorang turun ah sebab hari pun da panas. so the process nak turun is realyl easy..u can just run and slides, sampai ade yang buat game slide2 turun pun dari situ. jatuh gaung baru kau tau.

*************************

sampai bawah baru dapat tau yang nani got into trouble. macam otw dia nak turun tu ade satu batu dah bergolek and kena blakang dia yang memang da sakit dari dulu. dia pengsan di tempat kejadian sebab tak dapat menahan sakit. cewah ayat berita. adam telefon police and waited for a while before diorang datang. aku tak naik la balik tempat nani sakit tu sebab macam weh apahal tinggi kot nak naik balik.. karang ramai2 kat situ buat semak je lagi tak jadi apa so aku tunggu kat bawah.

bila dah tunggu kat bawah tiba tiba semua yang tunggu kat bawah tu rasa sakit perut. so nak pegi ah toilet. and kat situ kau ade 2 choices. nak berak kat jamban lubang....yang memang old school gila or korang nak bayar 5 ringgit masuk rabbit farm semata2 nak pegi berak..siot mahal.

so after a few hours tunggu nani pun dibawa turun. we went to hospital kanjang and tunggu apa berita pasal dia. hope everything is okay with her la eh.

so tadi aku cam terbaca tweet sorang member ni. cakap pasal budak uitm terhimpap batu besar.

read
utusan headline

baca balik, weh apahal macam over gila citer kau.
macam lagi seram dari what actually happened. padahal bende takde ah macam tu punye serious derr? and sape ntah mamat khairul tu. takde pun dalam EKSPEDISI tu.

this is shen.
and we made the headline
1st time pergi broga.
ape ade hal?

level two,

2011-01-19T20:05:00.004+08:00

Toriaizu, gambatte kudasai ne! Anata wa Ei-go ga jozu desu kara, kono mensetsu wa mondai ga nai to omoimasu.
-Sensei Aini

this is shen.
and i am meeting the bosses.

because future kau pun bersepah jugak.

2011-01-06T22:43:00.004+08:00

so my classes has start.
time yang ditunggu tunggu lepas lama gila cuti macam da sengal2 otak.
it wasnt so bad i think provided that our classes belum run at its full fledge. macam baru gedik2 manja berkenal kenalan. the lecturers are okay. a few familiar faces, specially Mr J. i love you Mr J!

started the classes with my usual notesketches. adei bila nak nak berubah ni hari hari pegi class melukis bende merepek2 when i suppose to be studying and copying notes and paying attention..so anyway tadi masuk kelas lecturer strict pukul lapan and he started talking bout the future. macam kalau kamu dah habis kamu nak jadi apa.

fikir balik, i dont know what i want to be. macam significant other dua dah confirm jadi pilot, macam sorang kawan ni dah confirm jadi librarian and macam sorang kawan ni dah confirm jadi marketing exec.

err...system analyst?

well tu je yang came to my mind. jadi seorang system analyst, audit sebab aku amik course ni since cousin aku a full fledge system analys dulu cakap nanti kerja relax. lecturer senyum, and bagitau the whole class macam confuse the whole course ni actually heading ke mana.

we are program user, not program creator awak kena faham. creator of program tu budak2 cs sana tuh.

so anyway aku tak faham, so kalau aku habis boleh jadi apa? kitorang confuse ke encik ni yang confuse, sebab encik macam tak sure je encik dr field mana ni...eleleleeeee *garuk dagu dia biar dia jadi manja*
tiba tiba terfikir macam nak continue master masuk marketing sebab semua lecturer aku asyik suruh ambik marketing je dari dulu. tsk tsk..eh tengoklah.

tapi orang cakap pun lantak pi la kau amik apa..sebab in the end degree tu just as a passport untuk kau mintak kerja. if all else fail aku bukak cafe jual cake comel2 pun ape ade hal kan?

the future is uncertain so kau nak kisah apa pun kan? it will somehow turn out great.

anddddddd i like it when u say
imy

this is shen.
and the future is uncertain
degree tu just a passport

all you need is your friends and food to have a great new year. sumpah

2011-01-01T18:31:00.004+08:00

tho it will be great if you do drop by
well, wishful thinking anyway

this is shen.
i had a great new year
with or without, oh well

pick up your weapon, choose your battle 2011 is coming.

2010-12-31T10:51:00.006+08:00

well since 2011 is just around the corner, and all other blogger seem to be posting the same blog post, i believe i should post a similar topic too.

out of curiosity. out of being in trending topics.

reading back on all my previous post, i came a long way to be who i am today. indescribable by words but at the same time not much superior than what i was before. an epitome of an average teenager (HAHA young adult CUKUP!!) . ive finished diploma, im living at home and currently pursuing degree.

2010 has left me a lot of impact you see. significant impacts that made me a much better person than or maybe a much worst person that what i was before. it is not for you to judge. 2010 was a marking stone of many new starts.

start to play futsal
start to open up to people
stop being overly emotional
start being a lot more care less
start to opening up my heart
start to use the twitter (LOL)
start to mingle around and making new FRIENDS and 'friends'
start to know how to be a total shiny plastic

well the last one might not be that great lol, but then again hypocrisy are skill we just need to live with that now do we?

yesterday, amazing-architect asked me
"sharain, apa new year resolution" "ahaha i dont really have any actually"

every year we keep on making new year resolution that is not achievable. being realistic wont hurt us now would it?

but i do believe that i want a to
X be more nicer to people
X be more friendly
X and i dont know, close my heart for while for an absolute reason.
X and let just live life to the fullest alang2 orang kata 2012 nak kiamat.

and yeah thats about it la kot. i cant wait for new year
i cant wait for class
and i cant wait for 'you' to see how much i meant to you if i do matters.

im having a NYE bbq today
with closest friends
i hope u will turn up
but then again...
its better for you to WANT to be here
rather than need and obligated to be here yeah?
IMY and have a very happy new year

this is shen.
and 2011 should be much better
lets make a rad out of it

food project 2 pavlova yawww!

2010-12-30T00:25:00.005+08:00

sebab pavlova kat serai harga gila babi mahal 14 inggit satu slice.

and

sebab aku macam takde kerja cuti uitm panjang sangat.

(and tolong la weyh tayah panjangkan lagi. 2 bulan tu pun da neraka jahanam da.)

and kau tapayah bising tanya kenapa aku tak kerja. aku malas and last last tak sempat pun bak bekerja bila fikir balik class pun nak start da.

so anyway pavlova orang kata macam susah nak buat pun. bila fikir balik haha kalau betul apa orang kata tu memang aku hebat la. kembang hidung sikit tayah control. walaupun buah tu sumer jatuh sliding macam main jetski dari atas meringue tu.. macam separa gagal jugak ah

p/s = should really find holiday killer yang lebih lelaki macam membetul kereta atau membetul paip. sheesh

this is shen.
this is bakershen XD

sleep on it

2010-12-18T03:42:00.001+08:00

this is shen.

and i am currently clingy, pushy and paranoid.

i will sleep on those and wake up without them.

thank you sayang for your attention.

you take care now,

sorry for being those.

alalaaaa sweet

2010-12-12T01:45:00.004+08:00

this is shen.
and sometimes you wish
you have someone you can type that long for
or someone will take the time to type that long for you
minus kawan2 yang annoying tapi adorable kat bawah tu

happy for u bestfriend

p/s: mind wishing me luck
for my scholarship interview nanti?

clarify

2010-12-06T11:37:00.001+08:00

clarify, rectify and identify your feeling.
are you in love with me as much as i am into you?

this is shen.
and this is the loveeee bugggg againnnn~

art project 2 : yellow dino

2010-12-05T10:24:00.003+08:00

this is shen.
and this is a desperate attempt to kill holiday

food project 1 : awesome aeroshen lasagna

2010-12-02T19:34:00.003+08:00

so yesterday afternoon,

aero and i were having this omg-gila-malas-nak-gerak-and-mandi-and-lets-lepak-at-home-forever-please moment and we decided to go through and flipping channels to find anything that may catch our interest to waste our time on, that is when we came across a cooking channel that feature a middle-aged woman cooked something weird with a catchy tagline that goes

since this is our last episode we will leave you a sweet dish to invoke sweet memories.

sumpah macam tak sure apa dia masak. agar2 godel la apa la..macam random gila. but it worth watching for an honest 5 minutes la

macam bodoh

that is when i smirk and goes,

"hey aero, masak lasagna jom!"
"lol jom...serious?"

so went out without actually taking our bath. LOL and aero is realllllllyyyyyy good at shopping. seriously. remind of my mum when shes shopping on a very tight budget. every cents counts yeah?

so we got all the item ready and here is our recipe... now work with us

a tube of minced meat
3 tomatoes
2 celery
3 part of garlic
1 big red onion
1 can of button mushroom
1 bottle of tomato sauce
lotssss of mozarella cheese
a stack of cheddar cheese
a box of lasagna pasta thingy

1. so first of all. u need to chop the onion, celery, tomatoes, garlic, and mushroom into tiny pieces. preferably cubes. lol kalau pisau kau tajam la. kitorang last last potong tengok jadi rupa apa entah. serious macam horror.

2. and then, panaskan the tomato sauce in a pan and stir well. stir macam yakin skit konon konon macam tengah masak benda best and susah. bila it seems that the tomato sauce dah panas, pour down the minced meat. and stir again untill the minced meat and the tomato sauce mixed well.

3. after that, pour the remaining ingredients that has been cut into preferably cubes, into the mixtures. eh boleh ke panggil mixtures? err..ok lets call it sauce instead. put everything in and stir well.

4. stir for a while untill the sauce is thick and worth eating. haha. and thennnn. boil some hot water and boil the lasagna till its half cooked. arrange the lasagna in a tray and do several layer.we believe the best way to layer the lasagna is

1. lasagna
2. sauce
3. cheese. lotsa them
4. repeat step 1-3 till ur out of ingredients

last last when its settle. put it in the oven and baked for 30 minutes with 250 degrees ke farenheit? lol whichever works fine la.

andd there. u got ur super cheesy lasagna aeroshen's way. try ah wey!

this is shen.
and that lasagna is super cheesyyy~

diet plan 7 : agak berjaya?

2010-11-28T19:07:00.001+08:00

this is shen.
and nah kau hanis
tak dapat tinggalkan aku

another cuti. lagi. bleargh

2010-11-26T17:42:00.002+08:00

1. untuk seorang student yang satu sem dah berhempas pulas pecah kepala sini sana. i think i should be really really happy lagi thankful that cuti is here. but then again. bila cuti dah lama lama kau pun naik bosan bila hari hari buat activity sama macam okay jom keluar lepak pegi makan, tengok movie, menari sini sana itu ini. aku bosan

2. orang cakap kalau kau bosan, you are doing it wrong. macam banyak je lagi kau boleh sebenarnya macam belajar memasak, buat karipap, cuci rumah, buat patung and yeah apa apa la yang berkaitan yang kau tau dalam tempoh masa sebulan lagi ni kau takde terasa pun kau ade masa nak try.

3. tiba tiba terasa macam perlu menguruskan badan macam nak mampus bila tengok picture dalam camera hun and bila tengok body masa birthday adam tu sikit lagi macam raksasa. woh. hari hari pergi jogging semua tengok tengok macam takde effect pun. sucks gila siot. tapi lantaklah janji hati senang walaupun satu hari makan portion sama besar dengan apa si kucing alpha tu makan. shayt. disebabkan i am built with a mental image bahawa 'if i get fat everyone will start leaving me' aku macam memaksa diri to the limit je.

i want a job. . eh kejap. let me rephrase that. i need a job sebab sekarang broke tahap weh apahal kau duit banyak tu je dalam bank. tskk how am i suppose to go trough the remaining days ni? alahai alahai. tapi ape ade hal kalau pandai jaga diri takde masalah pun kot provided that aku tak mengada nak keluar sehari2 macam bapak aku orang kaya la kan.

4. trip untuk pergi penang mungkin kena cancel, sebab ain cakap nenek dia sakit. well expected la sooner or later ade je alasan lain. its just one way or another la. not looking forward to it pun. nanti start sem kita pandai2 je la pergi sendri ok?

5. aku macam dah penat impressing people. tapi... entah eh? kadang kadang u just tried to make an impression of urself pastu kadang2 kau tak sedar macam kau dah terlebih expressive sampai buat the other party jadi geli geleman malas nak layan. *facepalm* i should really slow down on that. this is not me this is not shen.

6. i was thinking of adapting new skill macam something that totally different dari norma biasa macam memasak tu suma. i was thinking of learning on how to repair keter orrrrrr menjahit felt doll buat masa ni boleh? okay yang first skill macam macho second skill tu macam agak..pondan. abaikan ahahha. gelak gelak.

7. i like being myself lately but im not sure if everyone can accept who i am. like i said terlebih expresi diri karang lain macam plak jadi dia kan. buat orang menyampah je.

8. okay dah pukul 6. jogging bye/

dalam kes tak berkaitan
i dont believe in relationship
and forever
but somehow i like being around you
if only ur mine =)

this is shen.
anddddddddddddddddd i hate holiday

it is simple

2010-11-19T16:17:00.004+08:00

he was like

"is it so hard for you to smile occasionally? apa yang nak di tension kan?"

and i was like

"boleh. tapi nak tanye. perangai kau tak boleh lagi babi ke dari sekarang ni?"

he stuttered.

i smiled.

this is shen.

and please answer that

diet plan 7 : day 3

2010-11-18T19:10:00.003+08:00

hujan lebat taleh jogging
tapi ade DDR workout!
kau kasi aku sebulan weyh Hanis Parjin!

p/s : sikit ari lagi takde perut ah. hahaaha

this is shen.
and sweating is fun.

diet plan 7. pemangkin semangat

2010-11-17T10:23:00.000+08:00

this is shen.
dah perlu dah diet
karang hanis tinggalkan aku

its the same old same old.

2010-11-16T09:41:00.007+08:00

i was going through my myspace

sambil nyanyi

"my myspace bring all the boys to the yard,
and i am like its better than yours"

penah ke dengar lagu tu? haha.shit abaikan

so anyway.

aku came across this one blog i wrote during 2008. titled free. 2008 tu zaman myspace jadi medium luahan perasaan sebab nak buka blog sangat la bosan dan tak reti. ahaa haha. ok sedih. going through the blog aku cam tertarik kat post free ni. that goes :

a proverb once said

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be."

so it got me smiling. apekehnye kamu ni sharain.

its like dari 2008. benda sama je berlaku.macam feeling tu repetitive gila. maybe because i keep going for people that are usually hard to get. macam si dia ni and si dia tu. or maybe i just tend to fall for the wrong people and the wrong reason kan?

hun once told me,

buat apa suka kat orang yang tak suka kita balik?

and for real aku tak boleh jawap. macam aku cuba itu ini to fulfill the want and need of a person while orang lain trying to fulfill mine. kelakar la. she added

"realize tak orang yang goes mampus kau la im not in for ur love always get all the people, and orang yang macam alaa awak selamat pagi da makan? i just wanna say i miss you tu selalu yang kena tinggal"

nods to her. she was right. i believe semua orang pun sama. we long for what we cant have and we deny what's in front of us even how they open up to u. ouh well.

i dont believe in true love, i dont believe in forever. but i do believe in a short period crushes and flings. macam sekejap sini sekejap sana and repeats step 1-3.tapi during the process ill go head over heel. bodo membabi and menggelabah sotong. so save me if i do. sebab i will be just way too clingy. u have the right to move on till then.

although, in my previous post, i kept writing bout how much ive changed. apparently in some part nothing has changed has it?

assuming that it is the holiday

which is also the hunting season

i will apparently do the foolproof

diet plan 7

LOLberangan

this is shen.
and i hate feeling this
ok dah jom jogging!

noted that

2010-11-15T13:46:00.003+08:00

Lower your expectations. Flirting is fun, but only if you don’t take it too seriously. Most of the time, you’ll just flirt with someone for a short time and then maybe never talk to them again. If you always go in to flirting expecting to date, sleep with, or even marry the person you’re flirting with, you’re going to be very disappointed--and you’ll probably seem a little desperate.
Remember, you’re just flirting.

this is shen.
and =)

budak gemuk buli

2010-11-13T11:51:00.003+08:00

mimpi tu permainan setan

betul cakap orang

or maybe mimpu tu satu petunjuk yang kita tak dapat nak interpret. mana tau.

dah 3 hari straight. 3 malam, aku mimpi

aku budak 6 tahun yang asyik kena buli dengan budak satu kelas yang gemuk.

mimpi bersambung macam ade episod. tak faham.

menangis dalam mimpi sebab permainan kena campak atas atap kindergarten.

basah lencun kena tolak dalam pond tepi kindergarten.

kena tolak jatuh dari gelongsor takde siapa kisah.

bangun2 menangis, sebab rasa diri macam loser nak mampos. kelakar.

kenapa macam lemah kena buli dengan budak gemuk

a metaphore mimpi yang aku sendiri pun taknak evaluate.

tak nak interpret.

sebab nanti aku takut nak tau apa maksud sebenar.

this is shen.

and 3 hari straight aku kena buli dalam mimpi

this is wayyyy too much csi,

2010-11-09T10:46:00.002+08:00

*credit to creator

this is shen.

and i lol'd during csi

marriagedating

2010-11-08T00:01:00.001+08:00

People who get married are not to be trusted. You know why? Because if you were legitimately happy, honestly you wouldn't feel the need to make a big show out of it. You wouldn't have to broadcast it. They do it because they're insecure and because they think that getting married is what they're supposed to be doing now. And so they're lying to themselves and they're lying to others.

-Neil, He's Just Not That Into You

this is shen.

and so you think it works with

dating too?

happy birthday sayang

2010-11-06T14:55:00.003+08:00

eventho i terwish birthday you
satu hari awal
will keep in mind october ade 31 hari. XD

this is shen.
and wishing u happy birthday
nabila shamin nasruddin

dear,

2010-11-06T03:09:00.001+08:00

i would like to believe it when you say that

everything will be A-okay with a smile on your face.

although under the warm eyes slither lies and deceptions.

this is shen.

and will it be okay?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh benci la exammmm

2010-11-04T22:05:00.005+08:00

after dah macam satu semester bercuti sakan setiap jumaat, sabtu, ahad isnin.. longh oliday camtu. kemalasan memang tahap tepu setepu lemak kat perut yang buat sit up macam separuh mati pun takkan hilang.
tssk

macam malas bila kene belajar 14 chapter semata2 nak jawap satu paper untuk sem ni. cewah kerek skit camtu. haha. ni exam slip pun tak print lagi ape citer wey?

but the problem is stiap kali cuba nak study je mesti

awww kesian facebook, takde orang nak layan dia..awww tgk dia buat puppy eyes suruh orang main dia... tak sanggup laaaa nak baca buku and tinggalkan facebook kesedihan. haha

and setiap kali bukak chapter one mata mengantuk gila nak tido 18 jam kalau boleh. happens everytime without fails. padahal kalau tgk movie ke lepak ke facebook ke. 18 jam tanpa tido takde hal. steady je.

cane?

this is shen.
and sumpah benci exam
bila dah terbiasa cuti sakan

my own how to meet your mother friendship

2010-11-01T04:20:00.005+08:00

"i love you too much, and if you move to another country i would go after you, and marshall, will go after me and ted will follow through, the upside is we may get away from barney" - lily aldrin

i was always a light fanboy of how i met your mother. tengok suka suka. since the series is utterly great. some says that the series are too draggy. sampai season 6 pun the closest you get to actually meet her mother is seeing her ankle or the yellow umbrella.

to me, i dont the series is about the mother. to me, its about how their friendship made who they are. i always thought that it would be nice if i get friends similar to those. one that will go the extra miles just to see you happy and one will do anything to get you through life.

but then again bila fikir balik

i do have the my own HIMYM group of friends.

macam mereka mereka ni yang will go through all those.

si riffy rara yang macam kalau aku cerita apa pun kau dengar even how stupid it sounds.

macam si ain yang suka berebut cinta dengan aku walaupun dia tau dia takkan menang. ahaha joking kau cantik dowh sebenarnya kalau kau rajin.

macam si hanis parjin yang kelakar mengalahkan dewa laut.

macam afiziq mansor yang dah 3 tahun melayankan je ape benda aku cakap.

macam zedsi azman yang rajin mengikut ke mana2 and rajin melayankan aje.

macam dana yusuff yang always make people feel good about themselves. okay aku sorang je la at times. kasi booster perasan skit.

and macam nani yang boleh cakap 24 jam and buat kelakar pasal bieber tak habis2.

so bila fikir balik yang kau tunggang tebalik mak mampus buat kerja itu ini. bosan takde buat apa bila bila. menangis macam nak mampus bila kene dump and bila everything seems wrong somewhere. you know you got these people to turn to.

so yeah

i dont mind if kalau kau nak kata aku takde life sebab lepak dengan orang sama tak habis habis macam kawan aku sejemput ni je.. tapi entah, i just wont mind anymore cause i have fun with them

terima kasih.

this is shen.

and i have my own HIMYM friends to die for

whos yours?

sometimes

2010-10-31T23:56:00.002+08:00

we just wish that we are more than what we are so we can achieve more than what we have so we can gain more respect from who we want and just live happily ever after.

sometimes

this is shen.

and sometimes

we never feel grateful

confusing

2010-10-23T03:41:00.001+08:00

just a thought,
if this is not going anywhere, would you mind telling me upfront.

this is shen.
and i am confused

toys

2010-10-22T03:21:00.007+08:00

a kindergarten assistant teacher once told me

"there's no such thing as sharing.either it is yours or it's others. sharing macam overated.."

pandang muka dia, expecting she will burst laughing, but she never did..

it took me quite a while nak digest the words. tak logic tak logic. since aku da dibesarkan dengan kefahaman bahawa, sharing is caring..

her meaning was subtle. betul, tapi couldnt be used anywhere. took her a week to explained what she means.

"i like a guy, tapi he's with somebody. somebody yang he loves so much tapi at the meantime he said he love me too.he's so sweet, sangat. and he got me thinking bout him every now and then..i dont mind being the 3rd person, SHARING this love with his other girlfriend untill i realized i want more than just being the next girl. macam last resort, so i did very bad thing hoping that ill be the only one

alas, i am after all the 3rd person."

looking at me,

"you believe in sharing?"

this is shen.

and you got me thinking

programmer,

2010-09-20T01:10:00.003+08:00

this is shen.

and i should start to get serious

seriously

oh macam tu

2010-09-09T22:37:00.000+08:00

seWarMart awEeE waYewr kepadewr awarkzz... hugzz awak kewtawtz kewtawtz..
mahawpzz zaheyrr bawteenz

-ikhlas ni

HAHAHA

this is shen.

and adei sakit perut gelak

bila da last minute,

2010-09-08T12:00:00.004+08:00

and tiba tiba teringin nak kaki lagi kecik walaupun da size 6 1/2 so boleh pakai kasut ni pegi jalan.

this is shen.

and i takde kasut raya yet.

ouhoo

satu hit, kasi ingat dari member lama

2010-09-05T11:50:00.007+08:00

as it is very obvious, i was never that great in being sensitive towards others' feeling. macam jenis yang merajuk setiap lima minit, macam jenis yang merajuk nak kena call setiap waktu, macam yang jenis cepat terasa.

sorry

lain masa

well, following an event where i unfortunately hurt your and your feeling, i wanna say sorry. you were right, i was blindingly playing favourite. macam lepak dengan mereka ni lagi seronok dari lepak dengan korang. chill chill.. that was not my intention.

so yeah sorry for that. you guys are the 2 last ppl i wish to be hating me. serious. one that i could count on to.

will you guys angkat my calls now? ill treat u guys carls jr haaa!

so a girl ask me yesterday, its kinda sad that im lepaking with the her and same people all the time and macam tak ada kawan lain pula kan? lol... its kinda got me in the head. macam, you're right doh why do i put you guys as priority time lepak when i do have others to lepak with.. macam the 7 ke ttdians ke..or my girlfriend. macam pelik jugak bila cancel plans semata mata nak lepak makan dekat kandang dengan orang ini itu hari hari. serious macam kelakar ,

thanks for the wake up call.

lepas raya, will try to lepak with other people pulak kalau tak busy macam nak mampus. and dear girlfriend, you are right when u say i put my friends first. but i am glad you're the most understanding person i ever met.

i love you, although you will start questioning what love means to me =) the very reason why i love you.

this is shen

and jangan la merajuk-rajuk

aku tak reti pujuk ni

love hate relationship,

2010-09-05T11:48:00.002+08:00

this is shen.

and maemo5 is awesome.

jumpstart jom..

2010-08-24T23:46:00.002+08:00

tsk tsk
right. hi there
sharain sini
kalau dah lupa la.

so anyway.. haha macam dah lama tak blogging end up i dont know what to say and how to say things.

ive been thinking whole night. should i start writing my blog in full english despite my in-articulatory in the said language. but then it occurs to me again. ( yer again) sape ntah nak baca blog gelabah cakap english tak habis2? ok habis situ.

*****************************************

the reason why i dont update my blog that much is because......

i don't have a phone thus i don't have picture to upload thus cerita tanpa gambar selalu bosan thus secara tak langsung macam tengah meminta encik shahrudin to fund me for a new phone selepas w910i gagal kembali hidup seperti normal.

ni ha nak tanya bold2, Xperia2 dengan N900 mana best ah?
even when alligates is now using bold2. i dont think that will be much of a deciding factor pun. so mintak tolong sikit review kan?

*p/s=nak camera cool, nak qwerty keyboard.

ok mampus situ.

*****************************************

so life has practically been the same
except. ho haah
hari tu bday aku macam takde ape pun..except rasa tua yang pelik camtu. but then again thanks to hanis, riff, ammar kit and adam for being there. sayang kau weyh.

pastu the day before puasa start ada makan2. but i am not sure whether that was dana's party or a party we shares since august babies ade 3 orang. ain, dana and i.

but then again kalau it was dana's then happy birthday yang best la kat kamu dana since the party tepi tasik was awesome. kalau it was a shared party aku dah rasa patut lari balik rumah sekarang tutup muka pakai beg plastic sebab rasa macam malu pulak kena share2 duit sebab beli cake untuk diri sendri... L is for that big loser.

tsk tsk...

*****************************************

this is shen.
and that is all for now

i feel like writing

2010-08-23T07:08:00.002+08:00

but then i jadi malas

hahaha

this is shen.
and dah elok la recycle blog ni

times like this

2010-07-03T16:31:00.002+08:00

this is shen.
and at times like this you wish that you can get everything done. get a good job and move the hell out to another country where nobody knows you.

you wish

plusmile card sir? sepuluh ringgit je hari. ada free bag. ahaa

2010-06-11T15:42:00.006+08:00

so sebabkan cuti panjang uitm sangat membosankan bila kawan kawan rapat aku semua macam broke tahap menyedihkan. okay termasuk diri sendiri jugak la sebenarnya. zedsi and i took a job as a promoter untuk promote card plus touch and go kat giant shah alam. thanks omar weyh

. serious kelakar.

as a promoter aku rasa kau macam tak boleh kot rasa nak malu malu tak boleh belah macam bila hari pertama boss besar (literally besar) cakap kitorang patut pegang belom sambil promote tu. nasib je dia tak suruh kitorang pakai macam badut. haha, tapi aku rasa macam by being a promoter i can increase and learn lot of things kot macam how to speak to people and kurangkan la sikap pemalu tak boleh belah tu.

promoter card ni lain oh dr jadi retail assistant kat esprit dulu. macam kesian sebenarnye. sekarang baru faham perasaan promoter, bila aku jalan2 kat shopping mall, promoter offer apebende and bila aku buat muka cam "eh weyh tanak beli, ,tolong blah boleh?". haha maafkan saya promoters.

rasa macam hina.

being a plusmile promoter really made me see the many sides of people. jenis yang macam tahap shallow nak mampus yang cakap

"hish, tu la tak belajar pandai, tu yang kene kerja jadi promoter tu"
*senyum bodoh, pandang je muka dia*

and sampai jenis yang macam jalan tak reti nak senyum. rasa nak tapik dahi dia pastu ckp. kau senyum kene bayar ke bodo?!. tapi betul. memang mentality orang malaysia macam ni eh? shallow tahap oh shit apa masalah kau? tapi seronok la kalau jumpa orang-orang macam agak educated datang nak beli card. you can differentiate kot, the educated and orang yang BUDGET educated tapi haprak. serious.

macam sorang macik educated yang dengar je aku ckp merepek sampai habis pastu senyum baik nak mampus. terharu aku bila dia beli card tu. kan zedsi kan kan? macik tu baik kan? rasa macam kalau dia ada anak, boleh je aku masuk meminang sekarang. haha *tsk by, memain je*

pastu datang pulak jenis yang macam mengharap macam2, padahal beli card tu 10 ringgit je, tak faham btul.memang la patut value for money. tapi kau agak2 la. tapayah la berharap beli bende 10 ringgit pastu harap dia berfungsi macam bende 30 ringgit *ehem*. btul tak?
paiseh

but but but. it was fun really. *okay tipu skit la bila kaki berdiri 13 jam tu sakit juga la kan?*. its fun bila orang kat situ yang jaga sama kau pun reti nak sronok macam ruhil, otey? and yeah fcourse la zedsi. keh keh. macam hari2 balik cakap. OMG NAK QUIT. tapi pergi juga kerja sebab fun tengok cara cara orang yang macam macam. itu baru giant.

neway beli ah plusmile card bang
10 ringgit je arini, kalau abang cepat boleh dapat beg free.
serious arini je. last promotion.

ayat promote aku. tak agak haha.

haha citer pasal bag, macam kelakar bila kitorang promote kat sorang mamat ni. dia macam oh 10 ringgit je? dapat bag? tengok beg kejap. mana la aku tau dia indon yang nak beli card tu sbb nak dapat beg free sebab nak isi tukul dia. macam fucker hahaha.siot je. buat malu je promote. tayah indon la. malaysian pun sama, cakap bag je smangat je trus beli hehe.

anyway
kepada pembeli
or sape2. sorry la kalau aku TERtipu sikit2
untuk increase sales aritu. haha

this is shen.
and beli ah plusmile card
10rm je kot.

so much of it's your day

2010-05-30T23:09:00.010+08:00

selimpang vice chancellor weyyy!

so anyway,

yesterday was my convocation day. sidang 15. second sidang sebelum habis minggu convocation. semua mesti cakap. omg gila best oh convo. haha. as if. i don't know man. convo macam a great combination of 3 things i hate. tunggu, penat and rimas. adeih. but fine la. bangga la jugak sekarang da jadi a full fledge diploma students with award from the vice chancellor himself. aha. kelakar. dah la nama kena sebut salah. shar ain. apa tu? siapa tu?

the whole convocation is an irritating process whereby you will be asked to wait. beratur. wait. and yeah wait again. seriously man. wearing a baju melayu under that jubah dengan selimpang *coughs* is not much of a thing i would like to do everyday.

and ppl goes, weyh you pakai baju melayu?

betul la convo kan seumur hidup sekali. deal with it sudah.
okay zip it.

penat. panas. rimas.

i always know how i will act after being in such condition. cranky and snappy. so i told everyone, (excluding my parents..which i can't) not to come to my convocation. in a very indirect way. i mean i know. thanks for wanting to be there on my historical day bla bla bla. but i am sorry. i can be very hostile when i am.penat,panas and rimas. so, when they came, in attempt to create a surprise (oh and i hate surprises..seriously). i believe, i snapped. sorry but no means no. so now i think i sorta kinda lose a friend. but lantak you la. seriously. ive apologized. and its your own fault seriously if you terasa. i told you so just dont quite get it. but then again. sorry, niat kau baik. aku tau.

elak orang dah tak sayang aku je nanti lepas ni. but that is predicted.

end up being a brat. the whole time when people are there to celebrate the convocation. its kinda relieving that my parents actually understand that i can be such a brat in such condition thus they dont really ask much of it. so thank you for understanding. and sorry for being a brat.

somehow it rains on the convo day.

i am not trying to be emotional or anything but being surrounded by gazillion of people in a wet, stuffy place is not really my idea of a great convo. i need sun for a good picture. =( . padan muka kau takde gambar sangat.

and that sorta spoils my mood for the whole convo and i end up not snapping that much picture that i think i supposedly did. and concluded with so little picture of my own. macam takde bende nak ingat sangat pun pasal convo ni pfft.

so much of getting ANC and all la.
tsk tsk
whatever. im complaining too much.

congratulation sharain shahrudin
for getting the vice chancellor award.
and getting your diploma.
i am proud of you,
even when your .... does not.
fuck that's sad/

this is shen.
and i think
my convo is not
how i want to remember it.

eh bosan doh

2010-05-27T20:19:00.004+08:00

1. after a while going through the holiday without doing any posting, rasa macam sengal pun ada.

bila orang cakap,
kenapa blog kau makin lama makin takde benda nak baca? macam kau dah tak wujud,

aku macam marah pulak. tersentap kejap tapi tak lama. kelakar. betul la orang cakap. macam tak wujud.

sikit sikit rasa macam takde bende pun nak diceritakan. takkan la aku nak cerita aku bagun pukul 12 tengah hari setiap hari, buka facebook, buka youtube belajar joget macam hannah montana semua. malu la aku weyh. sebab aku takde life.

serious.

aku rasa. time macam sekarang ni selalu aku posting pasal . HOMG I MISS SEGAMAT MACAM NAK MAMPOS. tapi sekarang macam takde reason da. sebab aritu aku pergi segamat dgn puncak peers.. tengak macam...alerh..ni je?

gila kerek siot kau.

2. sekarang aku rasa i don't take things seriously sangat kot. macam bila orang panggil aku ini itu aku macam gelak sama macam sendri takde perasaan pulak. sama la macam a girl yang baru kenap and patut nak pergi dating hari jumaat nanti tiba tiab cakap "eyh homo, u nak tido pukul berapa?".. klakar.. kalau aku homo kenapa ntah nak dating sama kau? tapi depends la pada siapa. kalau kau tiba tiba aku tak kenal panggil aku bodoh macam pelik la juga rasenyer. macam bila fikir balik maca emo sangat kot aku dulu, sikit- sikit nak melenting. chill la bro.

i need a job. sebab sekarang macam sangat miskin takde duit untuk beli telefon baru.sebab ..
kawan- kawan i semua pakai blackberry boleh online 24/7 update status setiap minit. hakptuih.

haha. takde ahhhhhh! phone w910i ni sikit lagi nak kene tanam da. tak larat nak lepak sama aku yang asyik terjatuhkan dia dari tingkat 2 katil double decker ni. tolong belikan phone baru please

bosan bosannnnnnnnnnnn!

3.tapi sekarang aku dah jumpe activity2 seronok boleh main setiap hari rabu. main batting cage kat i's a hit sumpah seronok kot. macam elok la kalau kau takde mood and tgh marah. pukul bola sekuat hati konon2 boleh home run ahaha. elak tecampak je kayu baseball tu ke machine tukang tembak tu ahaaa.

pastu boleh la nanti ikut aku pergi wall climbing dekat putrajaya nanti waktu weekdays. walaupun tak berapa nak ada stamina nak panjat smangat. tapi seronok ah. jugak. sikit. penat.

sebab bila tengok balik diri atas penimbang macam naik kot berat badan 4 kg. macam seram gila hahaha. tak faham la kenapa tension2 tapi berat badan boleh naik.. sekarang rasa macam jelly bergerak gerak. kelakar.

4. lusa nanti hari graduation aku. aku cam nervous semua. pelik pelik je. sebab padahal pergi amik sijil je kot. haha. nanti sila la datang. tak payah bawak bunga la. aku tak mau. bawakan plushie bentuk alligator je sudah la. ahaha. ok trima kasih.

macam ni

asal ntah aku rase macam
aku sgt annoying ni
macam patut diam dah sekarang
okay bye

this is shen
random update on
my holiday

formspring.me

2010-05-07T11:27:00.004+08:00

as i observe
formspring has become one of the trend
it's kinda obvious that sooner or later we will communicate only through formsrping.

"dude, pegi makan jom?"
"jom"

a friend asked me. "kenapa kau tak nak buat formsping, best kot bende tu"
so being just me. agak paranoid sikit. aku macam boleh je agak soalan soalan yang korang akan tanye macam.

so just out of curiosity, i asked the R-that-watches-porn-during-breakfast-guy

"dude, if i do have a formspring, seriously what will be the first question you'll ask?"

and he said

"are you a bisexual? or on another level, in 15 steps how do you kill an atheist t-rex that tag teaming with a thesaurus"

that really made me goes wtf?
how would u answer that one?

this is shen.
and i am still safe
from the formspring.me
fever. for now

examirony

2010-04-29T13:28:00.007+08:00

exam always made me feel insecure.
macam tak berapa pandai
macam tak berapa

it is kinda funny when you look back, the 4 month macam kau tak achieve apa apa pun selain penat kepala berfikir itu ini, penat badan berkejar kejar untuk assignment.

exam weeks kali ni,
i don't think it will be as easy as diploma. especially IMS504, dear database. aku malas la nak cakap apa lagi. macam serious dah tak faham kenapa ada paper macam tu punya susah sekali jenis i-am-not-surprised-kalau-i-repeat-pun-even-kalau-i-dulu-ANC. tapi kalau boleh tak nak la fail kan?

macam tak nak salahkan diri sendiri. log in facebook sambil study.
kata pun internet laju kat rumah. banyak sangat procrastination
kelakar
macam kata orang cerdik pandai

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places.
~Author Unknown

i need a vacation,
nak rehatkan kepala, tapi tahap broke to the floor macam undeniably scary. macam tak sure esok lusa ada duit nak have fun ke takda. oh shit should really get a job huh? harapkan allowance memang ke laut la. no ke laut bukan maknanyer dapat bercuti ke tepi pantai.

sikit sikit,
macam rasa tak nak la exam week ni habis. sebab nanti cuti panjang dua bulan aku tak tau nak buat apa dah ni. kalau hari hari sekarang aku pergi kolej nak lepak, sampai tadi bila aku duduk rumah ayah tanya "not going anywhere?". tak tau la menganjing ke apa. tapi sekarang aku macam rasa dah di buang masyarakat dah. sebab hari hari bila orang ajak lepak aku malas sangat nak keluar.

takde alasan dah sekarang,
dulu banyak kerja nak submit. banyak test nak pecah kepala. banyak project nak kejar. ni time cuti? apa je alasan kau ada untuk avoid social contact?

broke.
yeah broke.

ape ape hal pun. good luck sharain

this is shen.
and random rant during exam
kadang kadang annoying juga

the epic holiday

2010-04-28T19:49:00.011+08:00

this is shen.
and i had one great trip
despite the fact that we almost died
due to excessive works

and the award goes to,

2010-04-07T22:22:00.004+08:00

"aku sanggup tak tido untuk korang. serious"

sneak peek on
superb week :

this is shen.
and paradise is not a place.
its people that cares

ala weyhhhh?

2010-03-26T19:05:00.005+08:00

bahasa paling nak mesra

tapi last last dengarnye macam serious

weyh jangan la weyh
tak moh ah botak weyhh
bila tengok gambarajah di bawah tu macam rambut aku dah sampai phase number 3 je?
ke perasaan je nihhh?

sial aa

tak berguna btol pakai ni

harap je ade pompuan cantik

this is shen.
and aku salahkan kerja banyak
and stress untuk rambut gugur

degree syndrome, just face it.

2010-03-24T21:19:00.004+08:00

senyum dekat puncak peers, drive kereta sampai rumah,
parking kereta, buka pintu belakang cari dalam kotak penuh buku.
ah ni buku nak guna. tutup pintu. masuk rumah. masuk bilik. kunci

duduk depan laptop. double click visual basic 2008.
call masuk

"shen, kau free malam ni? dah tiga minggu kot aku cakap dengan kau nak keluar?"
"ahaaa, er... kalau aku cakap tak free boleh ke?"
"tak habis habis dengan kerja kau..bukan banyak pun!!"
"eheh...sorry"
"aritu cakap test, minggu ni cakap kerja banyak, minggu depan? exam?!"
"sorry eh?"
*click*

macam nak keluar tapi dekat belakang sekarang ade 2 programming kena settle, 3 reports dan lain lain aku pun dah tak ingat sangat dah. nak je masuk dalam kereta drive jauh jauh samapi port dickson duduk sorang sorang kat rumah apartment tu.

sorang sorang tak payah fikir apa.

kerja banyak. itula degree orang kata. aku pun ikutkan je la. aku sekarang dah macam kera sumbang tak reti bersosial dah ni bila asyik test pastu asyik duduk depan laptop bekerja tak habis. orang kata jangan complain. thats life. betul

kadang kadang terfikir nak ambik masscomm lari sini sana. at least dalam busy busy tu boleh berjumpa orang. bukan?rindu berkomunikasi dgn org selain puncak peers.

******

hari hari puncak peers tido rumah. lelaki perempuan semua. it is kinda fun bila tengok rumah kau macam penuh orang pastu macam lively dari apa yang hari hari di portraykan. diam. kosong. semua duduk sorang2 dalam bilik. keluarga =).

aku macam dah over attached to the puncak peers sekarang lebih dari sepatutnya macam bila diorang nak balik tidur college aku macam cari reason nak suruh diorang tido rumah aku. ahah. sedih kan? kalau tak semua pun at least ezzad pun dah cukup. kalau aku ajak hanes sorang je macam jahil sangat rupanya. eventhough ...abaikan haha.

ini ezzad btw

dan ini hanes btw

******
aku rasa berjealous jealous among friends ni macam bodoh sebab last last semua tak dapat apa selain ahti sakit kepala sakit benci nak mampus. kan? haha. pandai cakap tapi sendiri buat. aku jenis yang senang feel attached. bahaya ni bahayaaa.
kan?

so might as well cuba stay away slow slow for the sake of friendship or at least heartbreaks.

******

pt aku tak dapat. sebab aku silap isi kampus aku sebagai kampus segamat. so mungkin aku rindu jugak campus dalam hutan tu. too bad tak sempat nak balik konon2 nak buat clearance tu. too bad it is. busy sangat pun masing masing. serious.

okay sudah bercomplain.

this is shen
i need time
i hate degree

dataBEST la sangat!

2010-03-10T22:27:00.003+08:00

aku tak nak fail weyh
tak nak! faham tak susah nak mampos? serious dooooo macam add mat peringkat SPM all over again. kalau dah satu kelas tak reti macam mana nak jawap tak tau la patut salahkan diri sendri ke siapa kan? tapi serious doh macam the whole paper is about bantai dah bantai dan...uh bantai lagi.

takleh belah tadi tengok satu satu jawap macam paham padahal semua sedang cuba buat buat faham. serious doh ape cerita ni? worst of all, i did not do a question that cost 15 marks. pandai kannnn? haaa. tau pun kau

ape ni? i am so failing la macam ni.
dang

this is shen.
and i am struggling
with database

i watched this movie 15 times

2010-03-06T12:37:00.007+08:00

so anyway if you haven't watch it. it is not really the movie that should be watched critically but it is still worth watching if u got nothing to do in the middle of a weekend. based on a book written by sandak, which ~~have~~ contain like at most 10 pages, and a one-sentence description in each, you will be amazed how the movie turned out.

seriously

the movie is actually about max who went to the land of where the wild things are. so anyway, there is many way to interpret the movie and it is all based on each who watched the movie. i guess that's the interesting part of the movie.

some say that the wild things are not even real ( obviously), just a wild imagination that max created in his brain to simulate everyone around him, the family and friend of his.

some even say that the wild things are the emotion of his that develop and how he handles them. seriously for a kid movie where the wild things is rather heavy in term of interpretation.

an the only reason why i like this movie is because it sorta remind me of my childhood memory. where i can relates to max. except im not that...uhh bratty.

and and and max is super HOT weyh
for a kid

i would love to tell u more bout the movie. but it will spoil the fun. anyway i dont think where the wild things are will be shown in malaysia cinema. kot?

this is shen.
and where the wild things are
is one of my favorite movie

si nerd yang handphonenye rosak konon main bola

2010-03-06T11:41:00.006+08:00

so anyway lepas dah masuk degree, there's not much thing untuk diceritakan sangat. sebab life is wayyyy too busy macam kau dah takde masa sangat nak update blog ni. aha alasan. so sebab macam takde masa dan most of the time aku depan computer nak fahamkan relationship antara table and programming mengarut. aku kasi diri sendiri BIG L untuk loser yang lame tapi comel. ahah ahah aha.

1. hari hari lepak dengan puncak peer dah baut aku rasa pelik kalau satu hari takde member, macam semalam aku nak tukar simcard sebab phone aku tiba tiba teringin nak terbakar ntah kenapa pun kena bawak ain and ezzad sebab aku tak sker la pegi giant sorang sorang.. haha alasan tanak nampak lame berjalan sorang. adish.

2. kerana w910i dah bercadang untuk meninggalkan aku, i was wondering la kan. blackberry ke n97 mini lagi elok? cehhhh cakap macam bapak paling kaya di alam semesta. okay tu belakang kira la.whatever it is aku kena beli phone baruuuu huu.

3. untuk si kaki bangku tahap bangku konkrit kat tepi jalan, jenis yang berat tak boleh alih tu. aku dah start berjinak jinak nak main futsal. ahaaaaa.takpayah GELAK sangat la wey aifa. actually okay la doh kalau main every week. fun la nak mampos. tapi benda takbest bila main dgn orang yang memang wakil dunia ke apa yang jenis tak reti nak slow down pastu bolot bola sorang. tu dah tak faham dah kenapa nak show off.. macam budak university show off dengan budak tadika pasal macam mana nak buat complete thesis. kau nampak tak illogical di sana? haha. aku pun KONON la paling main! tapi dapat la wey sepak bola..dengki pesal?

4. aku malas nak mengadu, tapi degree ni subjext semua macam killer la. aku dah macam blur gila what;s going on macam...eh wtf wey wtf wey? tak faham aaaaaaaaaaaaaa..

5. sambungan kepada di atas, aku dah tak sempat dah nak bersosial bila class hari hari pastu setiap minggu ada je kerja. apebende ntah nak kasi busy sangat niiii? tak reti la...kalau tau busy camni aku amik mass comm lagi baik..wuu sedikit menyesal di sana.

6. relationship status, failure sampai kena extend. i mean, kenapa eh perempuan kena jadi sangat sangat posessive and controlling. penat ahh. aku tak faham la jenis perempuan yang kena msg 24/7 patu bila tak msg je mengamuk... ni belum ade anything special..kalau dah ade...okay seram.

7. since im in shah alam, meeting my exes are inevitable. macam setiap minggu ade je jumpa ex ini dan ex itu. aku jenis yang susah let go. bila jumpa balik mestilah macam...alaaaaaa? i miss you kot? so bila lepak sama nanti aku plak yang sibuk2 macam err..u single lagi ke..jom? so the right way to avoid this is, jangan lepak bersama.

8. koay teow pak li sedap. ahaha tiba tiba. tapi tak sure halal ke tak.

9. pastu hari hari plak bila class ctu aku melukis sampai satu hari tu dah kene marah, "kalau kamu tak suka blaja kelas saya, bagitau ustazah kamu boleh keluar"... hahaha.adeih...

10. sebab selalu melepak malam khamis sampai 4 pagi. aku dah macam risau dah bila aku asyik ponteng kelas elektif yang lecturer dia bercakap dua jam tanpa henti pasal kisah yang tak berkaitan dgn subjek. ah shit. cemana kalau kene bar ni?

11. sebab internet laju kat rumah. aku asyik tengok movie je. and sebab rumah dekat dgn cinema, aku selalu tengok movie je. and sebab kawan aku ramai kaki movie, aku selalu tengok movie je. hahah this is paradox tu what i said earlier saying that banyak sangat kerja sampai tak sempat bersosial. haha.

12. aku macam dah tak rindu dah segamat or apa apa yang berkaitan dengannyer sebab macam bodo je?

13. kau pakai cekak macam kelakar. tiba tiba lagi skali. haha

14. semalam kitorang plan macam nak pergi langkawi during semester break konon2 macam nak release tension sbb busy sangat kat shah alam ni. last last tengok semua macam doubting the ability to go that farrr je. pelik ah member2 tak sker jalan ni. however, on the other hand there is a slim possibility that i am going to bali atau bandung masa cuti nanti. nak pesan apa apa?

15. aku rasa budak account macam sangat hot. asal ah? asal ah? macam hari2 pergi library, memang lagi tambah hot la. adish

16. oh registered dalam wall climbing tapi tak sure bila je nak pergi memanjat dinding tu nanti. haaaaa.

okay dah bye!

got over you
nak braces plak pelase
boleh ke tak boleh?
cakap la betul2

this is shen.
and my life
has took an unexpected turn.

one great year ahead!

2010-02-16T00:29:00.003+08:00

ah so we went to kit's house just now for yee sang tossing. satu malaysia sangat semua perayaan kau nak sambut kan shen kan?

anyway yee sang tossing are done in order to ensure a prosperous year and high abundance... so anyway, being young the only thing we wished are as follows

"rich weyh!"
"hot body!"
"hot boyfriends"
"hot girlfriends"

and so many more wishes that seems....world-ly.

but secretly i wishes for,...please let me have these friends forever?
and jugak tolong kasi perempuan cantik yang kaya pandai rambut lurus pakai spek bingkai tebal terer main game and berbody petite menarik and ketinggian normal or lagi rendah dan suka ketawa at all jokes and lagi suka tengok movie. please?

whatever it iss happy chinese new year buddies.

i want you to notice
how i am head over heel
for you

this is shen.
and i tossed the yee sang
high to heaven

the dork's way to enjoy holiday woot?

2010-02-14T16:52:00.003+08:00

i feel smarter already.

oh hey
happy valentines day
walaupun tak sambut
okay dah bye

this is shen.
and i am that dork you love.

kata pun valentine's day apa salahnya nak jiwang sekali sekala?

2010-02-12T01:26:00.004+08:00

so tadi macam the premier of valentines day the movie. haritu bila nampak iklan movie tu keluar masa tengok case 39 kali kedua, aku macam made a promise kepada diri sendri .

"sharain, this is a must watch movie"

so dengan berbekalkan hati yang romantik pegi la tengok movie dengan puncak peers. serious macam kelakar. dan awkward juga bila tengok kiri kanan semua couple, aku pulak dengan kawan kawan memang sekepala yang takde rase pun tarikan dari segi apa pun. tapi it was fun la. the movie was fun, the company was fun. kot? cuma macam lagi elok kalau kau ade partner nak tegedik2 dalam movie.

terus bila habis tengok movie tu macam rasa nak sepak diri sendiri sebab kenapa la masih single or tak settle down. macam kata israq

"settle down, sampai bila nak main main?"

sikit masa lagi israq. bukan senang nak settle down sebab aku bukan jenis yang reti sangat nak take care apsal feeling orang lain. karang asyik problem je. ade satu cerita aku tengok, 'definitely maybe'...theory dia cakap when the times come we know it, and whoever the person we are with at that time will be our only partner. aha... which result in not miss perfect but miss perfect timing. words.

dalam cerita tu aku rasa aku boleh relate diri sendiri dengan kara yang neurotic. ketakutan terhadap komitmen yang sangat tinggi yang mungkin boleh merosakkan diri sendiri pada masa hadapan. oh well. bila tiba masa, aku dah boleh dah buat private party i hate valentine.

orang cakap, kalau kau tak selesa dengan orang yang kau sedang dating it means that its either korang are not meant to be together while kalau korang macam terover selesa, it means that korang sbenarnya ditakdirkan jadi kawan. so di situ teori tu aku macam tak faham macam mana ia berlangsung. so aku kena date dengan orang yang jenins macam mana ni?

aku tak celebrate valentine pada asalnya, memang tak pernah and tak akan

tapi setiap kali valentines day, semua relationship aku sumpah will fails terribly sebelum hari valentine. macam babi sial curse ke apa? tapi still bukan la teringin sangat nak celebrate valntines day kan, cuma macam tak fair ah setiap kali nak hari romantic macam tu aku sorang sorang duduk rumah tengok criter cinta sambil makan chicken wings. gay, i know.

last las nak cakap, tengok je la movie tu
kalau kau single mesti kau macam.....ahhhh nak girlfriend sekarang juga
or maybe i should appreciate the girl.

hey you,
jum couple?
tapi tak nak serious,
boleh tak?
an open relationship
with shorter strings attached

this is shen
and will you be my valentine?

nihon-go suki dewa nai, ich will deutsch..

2010-01-27T18:51:00.005+08:00

boku wa sharin desu.

i am sharain
boku wa ni ju ni sai desu.
i am 22 years old
boku wa dokushin desu.
i am single.

since my german class got canceled out of the fact that the class failed to meet the minimum requirement to create the class, we are transported to japan.

nihongo suke dewa naiiii....

macam bodoh bila dulu kau kutuk each class macam loser.

since to me german tu rasa macam manly sikit. i mean the language is bold and...hebat. bila tengok kelas sebelah budak french bercakap macam alahai lembutnya macam lemah gemalai lutut. dengar pulak budak jepun bercakap semua macam budget comel omg SUGOII KAWAIII segala.. haha.

dulu aku macam set standard orang yang cakap jepun semestinya orang yang cute dan comel dan kecil dan segala la kan. maybe sebab aku selalu tengok morning musume. so dengan harapan bila masuk kelas japanese mestila orang comel comel. tapi mana la tau mungkin jenis yang macam beruang pun nak cakap jepun dengan harapan boleh mencomelkan diri. ape citer ni.. shallow sial aku. tapi lelaki tetap lelaki la. imej morning musume dan jepun aku hancur berkecai. untuk mengelakkan imej itu dimusnahkan aku pilih german.

ini morning musume

ini pula gambaran kurang jelas orang yang mungkin bercakap jepun.

last last masuk jugak dalam kelas jepun. damn.. boleh la aku start cakap KAWAIII.. watashi wa kakkoi des ka? haiii... wakarimasho. sushi king suzuki honda desu ka? * ayat tidak wujud dalam kamus jepun*

okay sudah makin macam nak penampar diri sendri. bukan kerek tapi malas la nanti kene belajar kanji, hiragana segala. aku belajar jepun pun dulu2 sbb tengok citer pokemon johto haha. sekarang belajar nak buat apa? maria ozawa pun bukan banyak sangat bercerita pun...kalau kau kenal maria ozawa meh sepp skit *high five la lebih kurang*

however, walaubagaimanapun tapi takde la bosan sgt kelas jepun sebab lecturer dia rupa macam ini,

okay tipu untuk menyedapkan hati sendiri lagi sekali. sekarang aku boleh poyo poyo macam orang japanese dan jerit ABUNAIIIII GOJIRAAA!!! (lihattt godzilaa!) tak pasal pasal. kat tengah bandar.

nah kau pun blaja sama sama dengan aku. nanti boleh pegi sushi king and shopping kat daisho poyo poyo cakap jepun. okay bye.

kenapa nobita tak datang malaysia?
sebab ade gianttttt
wahaha
bodoh macam sial

this is shen. 雨
ichiban gakusen

er izt lernend deutsch,

2010-01-15T15:40:00.006+08:00

1.he is learning dutch. kalau translation machine tu tak silap la.

2.for once aku amik a separate class from the segamat gang. haha serious kelakar. nani and i learning deutsch and the rest of them taking japanese. seriously third language is not really a pain in the ass as what we all expected. in fact, it is even pretty fun since you can learn all this new words and talk to ur friend and see them goes WTF man?..priceless. talking about price, a big drawback the stupid dutch book will cost of rm 120 for 3 semester. i am still thinking whether it is a good investment or its just one of the lecturing scheme thingy hehe.

3.so anyway segamat gang should really be called puncak peer now shouldnt it? i mean in puncak, instead of just hanging out with the typical number of people, we now have a few additional member to the group..chewah group. adam, dayah, mamat and shidot (will be introduced soon). and it's kinda fun to hangout with this large group of people all at once. its.....noisy yet...lively at the same time. yeah lively should be the right word. once we went for a movie with the whole row of seat booked for us. chewah weyh!. but however carrier sucks too much that it is not even worth mentioning. thank god there's Hanis that tends to get shocked evey once in a while even for the smallest of things like....the main character's laugh. man hanis, we should really bring u for a horror movie.

4.classes is crazy as fuck. i cant believe classes can be progressive and agressive. assignment every end of class. and even more extreme, we even get assignment on the first class where they actually talk only about the course outline. GOD. this really made me miss segamat. well yeah most of us does too. oh well. *counting assignments on had* 4 and still growing. heck.

5.staying at home. let me make this clear is not as fun as you thing. i mean i get monitored like every once in a while. KELUAR JEE HARI HARI!. thats what they say but then again .MY CLASS IS EVERYDAY. so without going out then i will miss my classes and when i miss classes, i'll get barred , and when i get barred, i'll fail and when i fail..i'll kill myself silly. so when im already outside, it won't hurt to have a little fun bukan? think about it. I am 22 this year. that is all.

6.i don't want to keep my hair long anymore. well not THAT long anymore. but then, the hair is not succumbing to being spiked pulak. damn. now my hair is in between spiking up and laying low. this sucks.

7.i no longer need a light for my study table but i think i need this HOT fake leather jacket. nakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. anyone? haha like ammar said i tend to get whatever i want without even realising it. now now let's try this so call power. pfft AM. i'll proof to you that i don't have such attribute

8.i watched all the movie on cinema that it's almost ridiculous...even sherlock holmes. YES even that.

9. i meet new people every other days that i think life is getting much more brighter than its already is.

10. and i think my wings grew. *flap flap*

i will keep the red notes area clean
since i am no longer
in a working relationship
well, never is pun. =)

this is shen.
and that is all the update.

ceritera degree student.

2010-01-05T19:41:00.003+08:00

dear blog,

aku malas nak kasi kau reason and alasan kenapa aku tak update kau lately. this is because life has been quite hectic ever since. pendaftaran degree segala.

sekarang i am sharain shahrudin budak degree puncak perdana yang jarak rumah ke uitm cuma memakan masa 7 minutes TOP.. macam bodoh. bila dah rumah dekat nak mati rasa macam pergi sekolah pulak. but then again nothing can top the air conditioned room, water heater and fast internet connection. so ill shut up now.*

australia. as apa yang aku sangat la nak. last last tak jadi pergi since it will cost me a lot and lagi satu aku kene bazir lagi setahun nak belajar segala haram semua. takde la bazir masa sangat kalau kira pun since it will be so effing fun kalau kat australia kan.. KALAU PERGI LAAA... but fikir2 balik and bila sampai hari registration uitm...tengok course yang aku amik tu macam UHEY sexy gila. suma sama dengan apa aku nak amik in RMIT (royal melbourne institute of technology)...so application to australia for education is totally out of the question for the time being.

tadi masa buat card matric. si jurugambar penangkap gambar tu panic gila nak tgkap gambar aku sebab rambut aku panjang sangat. sangat amende bodoh? lain ah kalau rambut aku paras bahu tu baru la panjang. hadeishh.. bodo tak agak2. nak panic lebih. but last last nasib la dia kawtim ( camner eja ni? ahahah kau team? ah mampos ah)..

kelas sumpah awesome. i mean dah tak macam diploma. macam best ahhh.. maybe sbb aku duduk luar so macam excited la nak mampos pegi kelas. sebab lepas tu boleh pergi berjalan2 pergi sunway hari2 sebab encik shahrudin kasi duit minyak yang memadai ( haha memadai..amik kau ayat melayu).. tapi sayang sekali. kalau benda baik sebaik2 benda. mesti ada palat jugak nak rosakkan. mana la aku tau kelas aku ade orang yang lagi annoying dari Barrack Obama dari musim diploma dulu. macam sial. kau cuba bayangkan seorang yang nak jadi smartass walaupun tak smart, annoying tahap OMG BOLEH TAK AKU LEMPANG MUKA KAU sebab bising nak mampus dan berkelakuan macam monyet akal tak sampai..boleh? tapi balik ke 3 new year resolution aku ...marilah jadi more friendly....mencuba la ni tapi. hadeyh susah kot berurusan dengan manusia bermentaliti kelas ketiga.

itu je lah kot nak cerita kat kau. sebab sekarang macam busy nak mati..bila2 aku free aku cerita lagi.

and I've let go
the useless junk
that was haunting me
and it feels good

this is shen.
and i am that degree student
in puncak perdana
so what say you?

another year.

2010-01-02T03:44:00.003+08:00

happy birthday dear blog.

happy new year people.

my 2010 resolutions are :-

less stupid
more friendly
less selfish

because letting go
is easier when you want to let go
for the sake of yourself
and everyone around you
thank you 2009

this is shen.
and so much of a happy new year
dont wanna talk about it

photocopied

2009-12-26T23:03:00.004+08:00

adoi individualism aku dah di copy tanpa kebenaran.
intellectual property ni dah kena plagiat..sial je

bila baca nama riff dengan nama ain jadi ikan jadah tu and nama fizik jadi amirul ikhwan sumpah aku dah tergelak sorang sorang.

tatau nak marah ke nak gelak.
bodo la kau keris jin!

this is shen.
and i am copied.

because every day starts the same way.

2009-12-22T19:26:00.005+08:00

so it has been a while since i last wrote in my blog. macam tiada apa sangat nak diceritakan since life has been yeah as cliche as it sounds, repetitive. so hari hari macam benda sama. wake up, help mum kemas rumah, online, random hangouts dengan member yang sama, main ps2 online balik and tidur. kelakar.

1. as stupid as this sounds, i can't wait to star degree. macam budak kecil baru semangat waja nak masuk tadika dengan muka happy segala senyum setiap hari. apparently i got accepted into uitm untuk continue degree under the programme information management system .cewah. nerd gila bunyi program kau. but then again what psyches me the most is the fact that i will be in shah alam. uyeahhh! tanah air yawww and i can't wait to see how my life unravels. bak kata bestfriend petite

"it'll be just like college sayang, it'll be just like college"

college acik hang kalau pak guard nanti asyik nak sound rambut aku.

2. so anyway, bila tengok result sendiri yang macam agak boleh dibanggakan tu aku macam terfikir jugak bila certain orang yang baru dl sekali boleh dapat laptop la, blackberry bodo jadah tu la, iphone la, kereta la ape jadah semua tu. (cakap dengan nada berbaur dengki maksimum). aku macam terfikir juga, aku macam tak dapat apa ni macam alahai tak worth it nya... so bersuara la burung hud hud sekor ni cakap

"ikhlas la sikit belajar. kau belajar untuk masa depan bukan benda2 dunia ni"

haktuih. nasib la kau betul.
takbestnya jadi orang yang tak berapa kaya ni. kalau keluarga aku kaya mesti aku dah dapat BMW x6 sebiji.. weewit... NAH KAU mimpi nak hebat.

3. pastu sekarang hari hari aku pergi jogging dan cuba menguruskan badan dan meminum jus kurus jualan encik shahrudin di samping takde benda nak buat kat rumah (cewahh kau promote bisnes bapak!). so aritu pergi timbang macam weheyyyy turun 3kg. tatau la nak happy ke tak kan sebab dah berapa minggu kau berjogging turun sikit je pastu bila kau makan kenaikan mendadak dia memang macam sial. ..adeih. so nak menyedapkan hati, at least aku dapat lari 3 pusingan lengkap tanpa henti tu dah kira bagus la kot bila aku rase stamina aku lagi power dari sorang mamat kurus yang jogging petang2 sama waktu dengan aku. bangga hnnss hnsss * bunyi nafas kuat bila hidung kembang maksimum*

4. so anyway encik shahrudin dan puan hanifah kini berada di Jakarta menghirup udara lain dari malaysia. happy la korang kat sana. shopping banyak banyak untuk anakmu ini yang tinggal di malaysia iya? kasihan sama kami di tinggalkan di malaysiaaa.. (aku tak reti berbahasa indon even kalau mencuba sakan pun shit.) kalau aku memang berdarah setan memang seronok dah aku berparty sakan tak ingat tanah. tapi right, trust is something u need to earn kan? sabar sikit. lagipun berkaitan dengan kisah 2. di atas, kalau kaya tak apa sihhh,,,kalau duitnya tak sampai ratusan di dalam poket lupakan aja niatnya ya? (AHAAH still tak reti berbahasa indonesia).

macam dengki. macam sedih.

5. aku dah malas la mengingati dan appreciate orang lebih dari apa yang dia deserve. macam cinta agung tahap raksasa segala. sekarang cerita dia senang okay. kau contact aku, aku contact kau. so tak payah la siapa2 terhegeh2 dan terasa hati kan?tak nak contact senang, ok pegi mampos.

lain lain cerita
aku dah start melukis balik
a comic pasal
hidup sendiri
vain la sial ahak ahak ahak

oh satu lagi
germanyanon
NAK sweater zara tuuu
nak kaler putih
thanks love u too! haha

this is shen.
and this is an update.

kalau memori tak boleh nak recall,

2009-12-15T03:05:00.008+08:00

past few days kawan baik aku macam hantar wall post kat facebook telling me she misses me. its nice being missed.

a few hours lepas tu aku dapat text dari seorang yang aku tak berapa rapat and he said he misses me to. it is still nice being missed.

tapi macam kelakar bila orang yang kau rindu pula tak reti balas text kau cakap that she or he misses you too. or ignoring you for no absolute reason buat kau rasa bodoh jugak kadang. kau rasa macam tak signifikan pula dalam hidup the other party. macam just another speck dalam universe yang tak akan membawa apa faedah pun kalau di tolak tepi.

once i've told a friend and the whole wide world, that what scares me the most is being forgotten. macam tadi bila aku bersua muka dengan sorang kawan lama. he squinted his eyes and try to recall while in my mind he's as clear as yesterday's memory.

"hey, em"
"er.. i know ive seen u before.. tapi i cant recall"
" haha its shenla, takpelah if uve forgotten"
"ouh haha...u look different"
"haha....itulah 6 bulan kan tak jumpa..half a year"

kasihan. dilupakan.
looks different, alasan

so i wonder. katakan kalau masa berjalan laju dan kau takde pun effort nak keep the relations, sooner or later memang it withers away la.

bak kata game yang hun main, the sims.

"Friendships are like plants. If you don't care for them, they whither and die."

maybe i should create bigger memories
or be the one who forgets.

this is shen.
and i will hate being forgotten

graduated dengan ...

2009-12-15T02:59:00.007+08:00

sekarang, degree pula. all the best sharain shahrudin

tapi still tak faham kenapa aku boleh dapat B flat untuk subject neraka ni..demn!

fobia dah aku kat bahulu,

this is shen.
dan tamat pengajian dengan pointer 3.82
dropped. but sure....
cemerlang tak cemerlang la
anak you ni encik shahrudin

i miss it when vampires are supposed to be scary

2009-11-30T15:29:00.004+08:00

Vampires were usually reported as bloated in appearance, and ruddy, purplish, or dark in colour; these characteristics were often attributed to the recent drinking of blood. Indeed, blood was often seen seeping from the mouth and nose when one was seen in its shroud or coffin and its left eye was often open. It would be clad in the linen shroud it was buried in, and its teeth, hair, and nails may have grown somewhat, though in general fangs were not a feature. - Wikipedia

thus they should've looked like this and suck blood of human instead of

glittering in the sunlit places.

this is shen.
and no im not in either
team jacob or
team edward

hey avane,

2009-11-28T17:35:00.010+08:00

ini penjelasan grafikal kenapa aku dah lama tak online dan tak update blog.

maafkan saya?

1. as kau boleh figure aku dengan laptop tak boleh berpisah sangat macam 2 orang bercinta sakan yang memang tahap cinta dia sampai level i will die for you. i named my laptop avane. pronounce dia macam ni (ah-vayne). jangan silap sebab ramai orang lidah kampung sebut avan.. lol sebuah van macam bodoh. so life is gila fun with avane around. (lagu happy)

2. nak dijadikan cerita sedih. satu hari avane jatuh sakit. critical nak rosak benda yang paling mahal je. celaka. kau rosak la touchpad ke mouse ke webcam ke apa ke. ni nak rosak mother. tak boleh belah. like owner like laptop. semua nak menang je. semua nak paling bagus. serious tak boleh terima bila tengok laptop tu tak boleh on bekali2. sampai nak hempas laptop tu dari tingkat dua katil double decker uitm.

3. so after berkali2 mencuba. baru dapat menerima yang laptop tu dah rosak and kaput for real. macam sial. depress gila sial. umpama dia macam korang baru dapat awek paling cantik di alam semesta pastu esok awek tu meninggal. dapat bayang? kalau tak dapat bayang korang memang tak pernah bercinta atau memang tak dicipta untuk mengasihi wanita cantik. takpa aku maafkan korang.

4. so avane di hantar ke hospital untuk diagnose penyakit dia. dengan harapan takde la mahal nak repair. hantar kat kedai cina segamat ni sebab gila desperate laptop rosak. check check nak repair avane into full working condition will cost me 600rm dan 1 minggu. SIAL. mahal btol kau ni laptop. check duit dalam bank ada...........RM 200. so tak mampu nak repair.. hampa

5. kehidupan sehari2 kat uitm without a laptop memang tak dapat dibayangkan. serious macam hilang punca untuk hidup. kau tak boleh bayang berapa orang call aku semua kena dengar aku whine pasal avane yang sakit. haha. aku dah macam suami mithali yang baru kehilangan bini tersayang dah ni. haha walaupun avane tu lelaki. sebab dia ade male plug (aku pun lupa sapa tentukan jantina dia.)

6. Selepas 3 minggu without laptop. akhirnya ayah, being a super dad he always have sanggup nak bayarkan 600rm tadi untuk repair avane. omg sumpah thanks la. maybe dia dapat faham kehidupan anak dia yang broke tahap 50sen dalam wallet dan takde benda lain nak buat sampai kemas rumah, susun baju dalam closet mengikut style dan warna baju dan mengemas bilik sampai 4 kali seminggu.

7. so anyway avane that's what happened while you were gone. now that you're back let's go watch porn. JOM! jk jk

macam sial scanner plak rosak

kena guna dslr nak masukkan gambar

btw i miss segamat

and i think

it hurts so eff much

being ignored

this is shen

and avane YOU'RE BACK!

oh well, begitulah caranya cakap goodbye

2009-11-11T14:25:00.003+08:00

it has been awhile since last aku menulis dalam blog ni. aku malas nak salahkan orang tapi selepas dah macam segala harta dunia aku rosak satu persatu aku sendiri pun patut tahu la apa patut aku buat kan. macam bila kereta aku accident, phone aku tiba tiba pulak rasa macam tanak berfungsi dan tiba tiba pulak laptop aku tu motherboard dia nak terbakar suka hati. aku pun dah malas nak fikir. so maafkan sebab lama tak berblog

lagipun sekarang aku macam sangat reluctant nak berblogging sebab nanti orang dapat agak aku nak berblog pasal apa. oh yes. hari hari last kat segamat yang buat aku tak senang duduk. teringat dulu time aku benci nak masuk uitm sebab aku budget nak jadi melayu celup and masuk HELP college bawah program law. hahaha. siap merajuk segala.

pejam celik dah macam 3 tahun kat sini. kat tempat yang banyak gila mengajar aku macam mana nak hidup luar dari comfort zone yang mengajar aku i can get anything i want. uitm uitm. ingat lagi masa mms tu aku menyumpah seranah segala. tpai sekarang haha its hard to admit tapi betul la lagu uitm di hatiku tu banyak kot meaning dia.

so anyway my paper will end in like..4 days lagi. macam biasa. aku antara makhluk penutup pagar. tpai i dont know man.. sekarang macam aku dah malas nak kisah. nak menghabiskan sisa sisa masa yang tinggal ni lepak kat tempat yang dulu aku panggil hutan babi berlawan pedang.

thus, obviously la bila kau fikir balik, its not the place yang you will miss most. mestilah orang dan environment dia kan? macam mana kau lepak hari hari 24jam ada orang keliling. shit lah.. aku tak dapat bayang macam mana bila duduk shah alam nanti. mesti sumpah lain kot.

once a person asked me kenapa aku sombong sangat and malas nak kenal orang baru kat uitm ni? so yeah the answer is simple. sorry aku tak jawap soalan kau dulu. aku jenis yang susah let go. having the idea sooner or later that we need to part ways macam affect me too much. macam katakan aku dah kenal rapat dengan kau selama 2 tahun pastu bila grad je....abis macam tu je. sebab akutau things like this happen.selalu jadi. so i think its more like a defense mechanism yang aku bina untuk selamatkan diri dari sakit hati merindu segala tu kot. hati tissue. biasa la. so apa apa lagi baik tak mengenal so takde la cinta tu ada betul? tak kenal maka tak cinta. bagus

macam katakan hari tu isyfaq si teman rapat masa part 4 balik and cakap kata kata seidh aku dah tatau dah nak deflect macam mana. aku macam tersengih sorang sorang macam bodoh je sebab aku sedih tapi macam..entah la wey.. aku tak reti nak explain hahaha. and malu nak tunjuk macam sial. tapi betul la aku macam dapat bayang la masa masa depan nanti mungkin benda2 kat segamat ni je yang tinggal. setakat memori bukan fizikal lagi. haha

to think about leaving segamat and start living at home untuk degree macam halfly excites me sebab aku mungkin lagi senang la nak melakukan ini itu. tpai separuh lagi macam. oh weyh kat rumah mestilah aku diikat ketat macam anak kucing. sebab dekat rumah parents still see me as the 2nd child yang manja yang tak tahu buat apa apa on his own. susah susah.

kejap lagi aku nak jalan keliling segamat slr and tangkap gambar tempat2 yang banyak gila memory antara aku, segamat gang, alligates and the rest yang mungkin ada nila signifikan dalam hidup aku.shit ill miss this

so apa apa hal
let me say thank you segamat
you made sharain shahrudin

aku macam tanak fikir pasal
4 bulan akan datang
sebab aku tak mau tahu pun
apa nak jadi sebab aku tanak dia lupa
tapi aku pun tanak melupakan.
please?

this is shen.
i am graduating.

away suwey,

2009-10-26T22:41:00.004+08:00

cause one day you wake up,
and find that you're missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder,
where on earth i could be. -the script

and this got me thinking
maybe she's right.

this is shen.
and i am away for awhile.
later everyone.

update random sebelum periksa la weyh

2009-10-18T00:46:00.007+08:00

5 hari aku tak blogging. macam agak lama juga kalau nak dikirakan. tapi apa nak buat aku sekarang macam tengah busy menjadi marketing manager untuk prject bahulu. tapi seronok jadi marketing manager bila kau boleh semangat2 guna skill and creativity untuk promote bahulu kau yang memang tak wujud pun pada hakikat. macam aku buat badge ni gila semangat nak mampus. comel KOT? meh sini aku jual kat kau biar kau buat pin tudung. okayh?

2. makin hari aku rasa hidup aku makin vain tahap setan nauzuubillah. bila masa phone aku tersayang hilang fungsinya sebagai kamera dan juga fungsi asasnya sebagai telefon. tak seronok kot hidup satu hari tak boleh main camera. macam tak lengkap. tak boleh belah cam perempuan. sampai bila aku terpaksa tangkap gambar pakai webcam tu dah kira critical lahanat la bila camera laptop ni pun macam 2mp je kuasa dia. aku rasa la. tapi tadi macam comel ayah nak kasi pinjam c905 dia, tapi tu macam teknik tanak belikan phone w995 masa december nanti je. aha! i saw through ur trick! AHA!

3. tadi aku pergi potong rambut kat saloon. and hairstylist aku macam kutuk budak budak melayu rempit yang buat rambut spiky. "budak baru nak up" dia kata. kelakar bila cina yang cakap word tu. tapi lagi kelakar bila tengok, memang betullah apa yang cina tu cakap. satu group pakai sama, rambut sama, cara cakap sama and sebab seorang nak potong rambut kau bawak 8 orang. tak boleh blah. aku senyum je sambil tunggu rambut settle. and hairstylist tadi sambung "you lain, i know you melayu lain" yang buat aku cakap "er?""

4. hari tu ada sorang reader macam complain. pasal each post aku memang pasal masalah aku dengan kawan. so aku nak cakap sorry sebab meluahkan dekat blog aku sendri. macam tak faham. what's your problem? macam kau baca diary orang pastu kau ckp, no sir cerita kehidupan kau tak patut berbunyi macam itu. mari kita tukar sikit plotnya? biar sedap bunyi cerita

5. aku macam risau plak perangai aku yang makin menjadi2 pasal i dont really like your way so i malas nak commit terhadap lecturer. macam apehal kau mengarut kasi kerja merepek2 bila aku banyak lagi kerja lain nak buat. sampai aku tak submit banyak juga assignment. elak kena repeat je semester depan. jangan la buat lawak macam ni puan?

6. trip pergi PD bersama rakan got canceled sebab semua rasa its better not to be held nanti semua stress. semua member skarang in the verge of breaking down yang bertitik asalan dari assignment belambak ohmygoddamn. tapi comel juga semua berpura2 bekerja keras padahal... leave it at that.

7. and memang babi la final sem ni pakai duit macam minum air sirap... laju je settle. aku tatau la macam mana nak explain kat ayah cakap. OMG ayah, duit saya depletes macam oh shit laju gila nak mati. perlukah saya join AKPK untuk merancang perbelanjaan dan credit?

8. OMG WEYH NAK WEEKLY DOSE OF CARLS JR!... OR SUBWAY...tu je aku nak cakap! tapi bersama certain orang yang mungkin tak akan dinyatakan secara lisan.

8. and aku rindu kau. (number sama sebab berkaitan dengan post number lapan)

and gambar bahulu atas tu

saje je nak budget comel

and psycho korang

dgn creativity aku

this is shen.

and this is a weekly update.

masalahnya it was never your problem in the first place

2009-10-12T01:45:00.012+08:00

Well katakan kau ade satu masalah yang sangat kecil yang kau tau the outcome of the problem memang apa apa hal pun akan wnd up to be a total disaster that will leave you moping for days and berdiam diri tanpa berita, kau mungkin akan bercerita juga dekat orang yang kau rasa rapat sebab nak kan attention kan?

i get it. kau as a best friend kisah juga kalau aku jatuh tergolek2 dalam masalah yang tak besar pun sebenarnya. aku tau kau tanak aku buat a mistake that i will tend to regret sooner or later. to make me feel stupid about myself segala. but. seriously babe. kau tak boleh la fikir kau boleh protect aku from everything, protect aku dari hurting myself. nanti takde la namanya learn and let live. macam hidup aku semua dah disenangkan oleh orang sekeliling tanpa aku perlu rasa erti heartbreak ke, losing ke dan segala galalah masalah kecil yang lain.

like wise men says, if you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for whispering it to the trees. risau juga kau ni jenis mulut tempayan yang tak reti nak tutup mulut kan? but then again terlajak perahu boleh di undur terlajak kata. oh well. mati je dah cukup.

so salah aku juga bila bagitau kau rahsia aku segala. now kau dah gelabah lebih macam rasa kau perlu lakukan sesuatu untuk preserve what i really need. TAK PAYAH. okay tu je nak cakap. tak payah la put your nose in the game where you don't belong even with good intention because like i said.. kau tak tau pun rule game tu yang kau nak sibuk kenapa? i mean katakan aku tengah main game basketball and kau tak tau pun rebound tu apa pastu kau nak sibuk cakap the opposing team tu kalah la bagai. kan boleh buat kau nampak bodoh eventhough secara kasarnya you are just trying to protect me. aigo! i know i know your biggest and best rebuttal points will be"sharain you're always the boy yang needs protection from both yourself and external factors" i know. i get that alot kawan. but..still COME ON MANNNNnnnn

maybe now you will say, patut ke aku buang kawan kawan aku macam kau semata mata untuk orang macam dia? so i will just geleng kepala sebab i know memang tak patut la aku nak bergaduh dengan kau semua semata mata sebab si yang bernama (masukkan number) huruf or (masukkan number juga) huruf tu. but come onnnn..i want my fair share of mistake. silap langkah yang boleh buat aku ingat ni sampai bila bila that will then build me to be a better person.

so kawan,

you get what my message is?

i am not mad i am just..

disappointed

apa apa hal i respect how you try to keep you friends together. tapi sometimes. please? just stay out of people business. and yeah i should've trusted u when you said you need a break. because obviously you can't handle it can you?

countdown shah alam

3 days

iwfmynph

oh just shut up already

this is shen.

and i am playing my cards right

thus i dont need your handicap

kawan

and so the stick snaps.

2009-10-06T01:26:00.006+08:00

1. there's only just so few reason for me to actually blog in english. which either mainly because i am totally pissed, lost or just plain boring. or wait... maybe because to show that i can still write in english too. so anyway everything have been flashing too fast lately that i did'nt get a glimpse of what's happening. the bundles of assignments, the super megastructured final projects, the failing relationship, the rows of things breaking unfortunately, the lack of shah alam daily dose updates.

this is a verge of breaking down konon.

2. halt. before i even start. i think i owe these people an apologies. the ever goofy and patience arian, the super sensible riff, the ever caring ammar, the super i dont get what you want alligates, the i think you are scary too ain, the i think as long as i layan u u will be happy fizik and whoever else that i think ive hurt since. oh encik shahrudin too. sorry for being snappy.

3. this is literally driving me crazy.and i dont know what this is but its crazy enough to make m e snap over even the smallest thing like when somebody stop answering my calls and ignoring my messages. words.its not like me to get worked up over minor things like this. okay thats an ultimate lie. gives me the smallest reason to go ballistic and i will. crazy. sometime it scares me that everytime i snap, somebody will end up saying, whatever i cant cope up with you anymore. glad no one did. yet

4. lately ive been evaluating myself. its kinda annoying that even as much as i want to ignore it, i am in a paradoxical stats that results in everything i do and feel now contradicts to each and every one of rules as what i set myself to be. so much of the shen 101 rules then. you, lover person, are good....you're way too good that you made me sways from my own guidelines.

5. back to point number 3, actually im not even sure what i am mad about. its not about the ever mounting jobs, the never ending assignments, not the last semesters tense. its like one minute i am just mad to the person around me and then ill jump to another matter and then to another one and got myself way too worked up. like earlier, where i got all emo-ed up towards riff and my group-mate with the most irrelevant reason that they are not doing their work, even though they are and the fact that a mis-communication occurs. she got me at a bad timing, and i used her to let off the steam. sorry riff.

6. so anyway somebody commented me on facebook stating, dude chill, you are way too tensed and chill lah wey stop being so semangat! buat biasa2 sudah kau punya etr. kesian group kau. that actually got me annoyed and i end up replying "dude? i am not average like u, typical melayu that tends to do works just because they have to, not because they want to show that they can. pity. lagipun group aku boleh buat. kau susah apa?" strings of words that i then regrets. but it feels good.

7. another told me i am pushy and desperate perfectionist that want everything to be my way and i always want to be in control of everything."that;s not true". i take others ideas too you say. fine if im pushy, i apologize again. because i want thing to be...smooth... FINE i want things to be my way cause i think your way...is just oh well... damn now im being narcissistic. self proclaimed prodigy with no common evidence to support the statement.

8. i think i need a time out. time off. from everyone. everything when this is all over.

9. you have no right to judge my mental capabilities in managing what's in my mind, what's im facing and the problems im handling

10. oh i dont need your comment that says chill man. cause that will get me annoyed. thank you

in a case that is not as relevant
i think i almost
have the full control of my mind
if only
you stops reminding me
of NPH

this is shen.
and if i do go crazy
and emotional lol
please save me?

tolong sekejap,

2009-10-02T01:09:00.006+08:00

tolong follow blog etr ni fantasybahulu.blogspot.com

and konon konon macam korang nak beli bahulu skit

boleh?

thanks

dalam case yang tak berkaitan

i have no effing time for this.

for you

or for any other stuffs

hates to admit this obsession

sial

this is shen.

and i have no effing time for this

final project GO!

bosan la aku.

countdown to PD je skarang ni

bukan malas nak update tapi,

2009-09-29T01:38:00.008+08:00

tapi i sekarang tengah busy

bertempur hebat dengan raksasa final projects dan test

dan busy menjadi mafiaaaa haaaa haha

u tunggu je sikit lagi yang.

u pun good luck test n projects u

in 2 weeks time

jom pergi PD

ok tak baby?

apa apa pun en garde!

this is shen.

and i got 3 submissions to chase.

oh hey~ macam sial

layaklah naik 2kg lepas puasa

2009-09-24T03:19:00.014+08:00

and layaklah naik 2kg
tengok cara kau makan
okay lepak sikit cara kau makan
dah horror sgt tu

message tersirat
crocs says hey alligates?
ismysdfm
ahaaaaa..
who are you to stop it?

this is shen.
jom pegi makan donut big apple pulak
ahak ahak

and teori kenapa raya aku dah tak berapa meriah.

2009-09-20T19:14:00.012+08:00

malam raya, buka facebook and tengok semua status tulis something similar to

"haih bosannye raya"
"raya would never be the same as before"
"alaaa raya bosann"

smiling to myself. memang betul pun kata semua. raya sekarang dah tak macam dulu. everyone is no longer looking forward to it macam masa dulu dulu. kata orang. semakin kau besar semakin la kau tak rasa kehangatan raya tu. ( amik kau hipotesis kajian manusia).

so anyway raya macam dah tak sama macam dulu kot. i think the only thing that got me fired up is when aku pergi ke shopping malls sini sana and shopping macam nenek aku baru menang loteri. seronok la bila dapat beli baju yang kau tak mungkin akan mampu nak beli masa shopping biasa biasa tengah bulan macam baju GAP yang merepek harga dia atau pun seluar levi's or lee tu. *dah kau jangan nak kasi nasihat encik shahrudin berbunyi macam 'levis ke GA blue ke sama je jeans dia.. bukan u pakai lama punn".

dulu, masa arwah atuk ada. the 1st thing we had in bila nak start beraya is, kalau pergi rumah atuk mesti ade jelly beans gila banyak yang kitorang akan makan macam takde dah tetamu lain nak datang rumah tu lepas tu. which means : sampai habis. tapi yeah, that was then. sekarang pergi melawat kubur dia je. takkan la kau mengharap ade jelly bean atas pusara tu. preposterous la jugak perangai kau macam nak mintak pelempang kan? agak rindu juga walaupun aku tak seberapa rapat dengan arwah masa dia hidup.

lagipun, distance 'kampung' aku dengan rumah aku takde la melebihi 30 minit perjalanan. so macam kalau kau asyik bertanya aku ..."eh kenapa kau tak ready ready nak balik kampung lagi?" aku boleh jadi annoyed tahap nauzzubillah. sama juga macam dulu ada orang cakap kalau kau beraya kat bandar sama je macam kau tak beraya. baik sambut christmas. kalau aku jumpa kau zaki yang pada masa tu berumur 8 tahun. aku tumbuk muka kau sekarang. sama je raya bodoh! ade jugak mercun kat tpt aku.. meriam buluh kau pakai? kitorang pakai meriam ekzos motor. ape criter bai?

tadi aku cakap dengan encik shahrudin

"ayah, if this is how we are going to celebrate raya year after years, boleh tak next year i go and celebrate raya at somebody's kampung. nak rasa. negeri sembilan ke... kelantan kee...ok kelantan jauh sangat. tak dapat la jack"

"pergilah, just ingatlah nanti bila parents u dah takde baru u nak sedar that how important beraya dengan family"

"heh"

dia betul . aku salah. sama la macam aku tengok blog farha ghouse tadi yang beraya di ceruk alam mana ntah selain malaysia. mungkin dia akan bagi aku 1001 reason kenapa beraya dengan family lagi best dari beraya di tempat lain. tapi aku belum merasa semua tu so mungkin aku akan cakap. "it's easy for you to say far , ur not here in my place."*aichehh wahh siap kasi nickname kat farha*

pastu ntah ape masalah entah. bila orang hantar aku wish panjang panjang aku macam malas nak baca macam katakan

kera mandi dekat sawah,
bacalah message kat bawah,

puan siti bini encik fitri,
selamat hari raya aidilfitri

dan panjang lagi la.. last last the message is clear. selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin.. itu je. tayah la kau hantar message raya 5 muka surat bersiap pantun dan lirik lagu kot?...bila aku reply kau juga or you too tak pasal aku pulak kena marah balik hahah. tak faham tak faham. kalau aku tak reply langsung cakap aku dah mati ke?

dulu we have like. 15 to 20 houses to jalan beraya. and we can kutip up to 200 a day. so aku malas nak bercerita panjang. sekarang jalan hanya 4 rumah. so macam nisbah 5:1 dari sepatutnya. dulu complain "ayah bila nak balik?".. sekarang complain "erk dah nak balik ke?". bila rumah sikit maka duit raya pun sikit. tapi tak perlu lah kau ketengahkan isu di mana umur aku boleh di jadikan faktor terkuat kenapa aku dah tak layak dapat duit raya banyak2. aku tak nak terasa tua.

and dulu juga aku akan menggelakkan orang yang online masa raya pertama or kedua bawah dari pukul 1 pagi sebab aku akan ckp "OMG DUDE gila kau takde sedara mara or umah kau takde tetamu..serious sedih doh kau." sama la ibaratnya macam kau ada kat rumah pada new years eve.. macam...tak kena je rasenyer betul tak? tapi sekarang nak gelakkan orang pun macam malu pulak sebab aku pun tengah menaip blog pada pukul 8 malam tak pasal pasal aku pun sama loser.

aisehh

apa apa hal, selamat hari raya la kau walaupun bosan.
syawal masuk. tanduk kau pun keluar laa.
haiishh~

oh anyway imy.
thanks for the constant calls during raya
really made my days
uyeahhh!
**EDITED**
okay macam annoying pulak
aku ckp imy berkali kali takde balasan
tarik balik tarik balik!
**EDITED**
ok hantar balik hantar balik
tarikan gagal

this is shen.
and tell me about your raya

oh well, selamat hari raya. jangan main mercun or worst, meriam buluh

2009-09-17T16:11:00.002+08:00

this is shen.
and can u feel the season?
selamat hari raya
maaf zahir dan batin

my night was a blast. now for one lazy saturday

2009-09-12T14:44:00.009+08:00

life is awesome. its like a row of good lucks. haha

makan free dekat kedai mamak eventho bill patutnyer beharga 30 ringgit + (lucky strike baby!)
pergi karaoke with the segamat gang altho semua lagu dinyanyi oleh ain
makan ice cream giant tepi kereta altho my ice cream melted before i get to even eat it
pergi survey seluar lee kat segamat... macam bodoh shopping dgn fizik "daripada kau beli seluar pastu kene potong banyak banyak..baik kau beli seluar pendek" terima kasih fizik atas kutukan yang kreatif tersebut.
jumpa significant other "this...rocks my whole day.. wait does week sound overrated?"
got a call from . (and dapat lecture pasal pergilah sembahyang)
and arian got me a tshirt from topman uyeahhhhh!...ke jacket ary? "nyeheheh"
will get a carls jr burger from si contact lens expekerja giordano! yay
and a grande sized fraps from si exmanager celebrity fitness yay lagi
and and a waffle from heidi... yay lagi satu lagi
im going back in 3 days time and nothing can stop that.... selain POP-UP TEST!

now for one lazy saturday. its 3.14 pm and i am still on my bed in my sleeping attires wasting times. and i got like 2 pamphlet, a 1k words essay about current issue in today information society, 30 website access list, 6 more bahulu character to be colored, a blog to set up, 2 final projects and yadda yadda yadda.

whatever.

and lets have fun like we just don't care.

cant wait to go shopping
boleh?
and yes ary i misses you too
puas hati kau?
selamat berpuasa!

this is shen.
and everything is going so well
and i dont feel like thinking
bout the super massive amount of works