be nice baby

it's typical of me, every time i am about to do my work. i will start procrastinating. cari benda yang boleh nak buat. macam tiba tiba la pergi tengok youtube justin bieber flash mob la, tiba tiba tengok raja lawak walaupun tak pernah teringin nak tengok and tiba tiba jugak pergi blog orang itu ini membaca walaupun setiap kali pun rasa writing certain orang amat mengjengkelkan camtu kan eja? serious.

baca baca baca. 

it's annoying bila tengok kau macam jatuh cinta tergolek golek macam omg please be my only lover. memang ah comel tapi kadang kadang macam. eh aku tampar muka kau karang. apa pun tak dapat. i am happy for you. seriously i do. but i dont find it that thrilling nak tengok kau bercinta sakan camtu. dengki la bodo. AHAHAHA. okay dah. memang nafsu pendengki tu tiba tiba kuat plak ni. syaitan btol. despite happy for you, i sometimes wish that the person will hurt u as bad as you hurt other people. you know? this once. so you can be empathetic towards the feeling of others. tapi abaikan la. u shouldnt feel that. it hurts like fuck.

sumpah

so anyway itu lantak kau la,

so 10 people from my past contacted me back and all of them said the same thing. or something that interpreted the same way " you are nicer now". if there's 10 people saying the same thing. i must be hell of a bad guy before am i not. and quoting the singapore-LV-store-floor-staff ,2011 " you are more approachable now".so kemungkinan perangai aku macam raksasa hostile yang tak boleh terima orang baru dalam life tu mungkin bukan penipuan semata-mata. mungkinnnnn....i was a very very hostile person and rejects every possible relationship based contacts.

remembering how i treated singapore-LV-store-floor-staff, the nottingham-engineer, the cheras-doctor-in-trainee and the secretary-of-Digi, i believe i was quite a handful before. budget hebat budget bagus suka pilih kawan. haha. so yeah i think i owe you guys an apologies. sorry i cant include all of you because coming up with nickname sumpah sakit. 

so i guess ill stay this way for a bit then.

but i dont know,

being nice made everyone see that im vulnerable. opening up to every single thing and opening up your life to every person u meet. its kinda scary, kinda ignorant, kinda reckless?

in the end. sebab nak stay nice. i wish u luck in your upcoming relationship. your job and your emotional based problem. itu je nak cakap. i got my life and you got yours. im glad we crossed path really. 

dalam case tak berkaitan

i think i am like a legend in procrastination

serious.

macam hebat to the max

tapi tak boleh kalahkan

mamat cakap lebih tapi hasil kurang =)

this is shen.

and i think im nicer now

kot?entah.

wish u luck